Lights on Me

On leave today... yet calls started coming in since 8am. I guess in service industry, customers can never understand what is the meaning of being on leave, and office hours. Boss said, it's never ending work. Day in day out, customer will be shipping (they better be or else we will out of business). And of course, across the service industry, there will never be a fool proof service without any hiccups. Shits happens... Just on a bad day like WHEN I'M ON LEAVE, shit happens more frequently.. Somehow it's just like Murphy's Law. Especially in sales, when you feel that things are bad enough, somehow, some way, things can get just shittier. Things might gone missing, shipment might be delay by customs, customer might not pay the outstanding... and the list goes on and on and on... As a sales person, we are expected to be an all rounder, Jack of all trades. Frontline, backline, middle line, under line, dotted line... no wonder we are call the super team. Especially the ones...

Sun rays come down as seen when they hit the ground, Children spinning around till they fall down down down. I wait for you: it's been two hours now, You're still somewhere in town, Your dinners getting cold. I rest my case you are always this late, And you know how much I hate waiting around 'round 'round, Bitter heart, bitter heart tries to keep it all inside, Bitter heart, bitter heart shadows will help you try to hide, Bitter heart, my bitter heart is gettin' just a little fragile, [ Zee Avi Lyrics are found on www.songlyrics.com ] Bitter heart, bitter heart of mine. And then you come and tell me the same reason as you did yesterday, So tell me whats her name. Doo doo da dum, doo doo da dum, doo doo doo doo doo doo da da dum dum, da da da da dum, da da da da dum, da da da da dum. Bitter heart, bitter heart tries to keep it all inside Bitter heart, bitter heart shadows will help you try to hide, Bitter heart, my bitter heart is just getting a little fragile, Bitt...

1) Addiction to Mafia Wars in Facbook. I need to get my Godfather book from Klang!! 2) 9 months in sales.... I thought I never survive past June 2009. 3) Enjoying my weekend finally! 4) Just had a short break from Kuantan :) 5) Thinking of coming trip to Cameron Highlands! 6) Gym ... gym... gym.. 7) Work...work..work..

Work seems to take most of my time in life. Many said to me, don't get too attached with my job. Work is endless. If you ever find one day that you don't have any work to do, that will be the day you have to leave your job. Yet, I don't have any other life except my job. Being new in the team pressures me more to perform as I'm really a 'kiasu'. Being at the bottom for 1st few months, really push me to move forward. Indeed last month, I found some relief in my job. But, every month will be a new challenge. This is my true nature. Many times I thought, why am I in this line of career. What happened to my studies? My music? My passion? Day in day out, sometimes, I dread going to work. But once I started, I don't look back at all. So many things to do. I wonder when will I be able to let go. Let go of my job, let go of my crazy hectic life. Let go of my 'kiasu'ness. When will I dare to make that change in life? I really don't know.

Wish to go for a cinema. Doesn't matter if I need to go alone. Wish to go to the bookstore, Borders, Kinokuniya, MPH, or even Popular... I just need some knowledge juice for my hungry brain. Wish I am still in the bed... watching all my episodes of downloaded House, CSI, The Simpsons... Wish I am out in the park, joggin with my MP3 Players.. have some new good workout songs lately.. Wish to have a short vacation.. somewhere far from city, far from house, far from work... Wish to have the money enough to splurge for myself.... Maybe a trip to the Zoo again.. parks.. garden... beach.. Or maybe a just spending time with a good book and a good cup of coffee... And yet, where I am?? At 3.06pm , 09 May 2009, Saturday......... I'm still at the f****** office! Blehs!~

I woke up early to baby blue eyes from afar whoah whoah And when the sun comes through lights you like the angel you are whoah whoah I know I do you wrong when I'm with you I've been gone With every season change, it looks the same, November to June whoah whoah And don't these empty streets skip a beat the flowers don't bloom whoah whoah I can't believe I missed your birthday again And I wanna come back but I just don't know when now And I'm so lonely your not here with me That's why I'm gonna be on the next plane home The road that never ends around the bend I see your smile whoah whoah I'd swim acorss the sea to be with you for a while whoah whoah Cos I've made a life of been gone Now the way that I feel is just that I don't belong here And I'm so lonely you're not here with me That's why I'm gonna be on the next plane home And you're, you're the only face I wanna see That's why I'm gonna be on the next p...

Life has been a mess for the past whole week. Juggling between work and family is not my strength. I certainly missed mum being around. He just lost his respect from all his children. He knew it before and he definitely knows it now. But he's just too arrogant to come back and admit that it's his fault that things turn out so badly. I confronted him for his actions last night. I have never raised my voice against him, but yesterday, it's just really unbearable. If I knew what happened later after I left, I would have screamed my lungs out and bring my brothers along with me. Last night, what you did is plainly stupid. Stupid, for leaving your family behind. Stupid, for seeking for comfort from others while your wife is here waiting at home. Stupid, for not caring over your children. Stupid, for ignoring your responsibility as a son, a husband and a father. You have definitely lost what you had all this while. All because of your ego, arrogance and stupidity.