Lights on Me

I'm supposed to move to the apartment, last week. Dad postponed it. I'm suppoed to move my things to the apartment.. again..Dad postponed it... again. I wanted to stay alone for awhile, but they wanted to rent the room out.. they didn't ask my opinion.. I wanted to be free, but i can't. I wanted to fly, but they tied me up. I wanted my own life, but they can't let go. Yes, I'm a greedy, self-centred, egocentric bitch! But I still have the rights to choose my life. What are you expecting me to do? I got tired of sounding up my opinions. No one listens anyway. Because I'm a girl. Only Leonard's worth listening. Always Leonard... I got tired living in his shadows.

What is a home? A place to stay, a place to live and a place when you feel welcomed and safe all the time?? Perhaps, I'm a pessimist. I spend more time on my work more than anything in my life. Life after work, I supposed, should be warm and comforting. With gaining respect from my parents and my family, that I earn, and get my own car finally, by myself. Maybe I'm ultra-sensitive. I felt left out from my own family. Is it because of the baby? I doubted it. If it is, it's just an excuse. I have to move out from this house, which I assumed still my 'HOME'. No one to talk to, no one to listen. Better to move out and stay away. So tired.