Lights on Me

Today, it's really not a good day. I am mentally exhausted, and I really don't feel like talking to anyone. I feel really disappointed with many people. Too many to be named, too many promises that has been broken. I was blamed for things that I didn't do. Again. I was blamed that the way I handle things, the my ways were wrong. That I make a mess out of things. And I could say, I really felt bad and I feel like crying. Again, should I give up on this one thing that has been boggling my mind for months? Maybe I should, just once and for all. Let me settle it and move on. The more I am trying to keep it out, the more it will haunt me. Speechless altogether. Work, family and every other single thing in life, went haywire. And after all this is over, I will be alone, again. Such irony in life.

Sorry bloggie. I have not write for some time. I have lots to do and think these days. Although I do not know who will be reading you from time to time, I will not abandon you. At least not now. After 2 days of JSV, feeling a lil bit relief. Review wasn't bad at all, but still, there's lots to work on. And its MSR next week!! Ahhhh!!!! No!!!!! More work to do over the weekend... Waken up again this morning by customer. I dun mind being waken up every morning if she can commit 100k per month to us. Well, I would mine, but hey, its the edge that we have holding off our competitors. So, not a problem, at least for now. Mixed feelings this morning. I think everything has to come to an end. Even life. The question that pops up in mind is, when? Or should I stop it intentionally? If you are happy doing or having something, would you let it go eventually for the benefit of others? Or should I be selfish? I am confused at times and I wonder why do I think so much? Is it because I like

16th day in my new role.. getting tired? A little, I think. What have I learnt or more like learned about this role so far? 1) Wins don't come by easily. If it comes, it's windfall, if it's gone, you are losing your commission, even when you only lose 1 customer. 2) Going to see customer without doing homework is plain stupid. 3) Persistence... is harder than you ever thought. 4) Managing perception, its a skill and an important lesson as well. 5) Stamina!!! 6) Doing well as a Telesales, does not translate into success as an account manager. 7) Time management. Pre-call planning helps. 8) Creativity is an advantage. 9) Patience. 10)Work smart. Ah... stress level at a high point.

dis·ci·pline     [ dis - uh -plin ] noun, verb, -plined, -plin·ing. –noun 1. training to act in accordance with rules; drill: military discipline. There's lots of meanings for this word. Yes, it sounds harsh and punishing, but it keep us in place of what we should and should not do. Basically, discipline is like a social police, keeping the society in sanity. Spoke to Mark today, my ex-boss. I really missed listening to his nagging. That's how our conversation went today.. "Tell Brandon that he should make at least 6 customer visits a day, and you, at least 5. Giving that your area is huge." "But Mark, my place is really far.. Going to Kajang to and fro has taken me 2 hours, meeting only 1 customer.." I said. "No BUTs. You should leave office by 9:15 every day, 10 o'clock ,1st appointment.. then 11, 12, break for lunch, 2 o'clock then 3 another one. You can even squeeze another one at 4 if you want to.. See? Who says can't make 6

Today is Sandz' birhtday. Happy Birthday Sandz! Hope you had great celebration this year! :) Today is also the 3rd day of my life as an account manager. How does it feel? All I can say its pure craziness. One can only ogle at the pace we are working, especially for those who are not in the same industry. 24/7, goods are being moved, from one place to another, reaching to the end of the world and unknown places. Sometimes I feel that we are performing magic every day. Doing things beyond imagination, planes, trains, truck, even bicycle...all were used to cater to our customer's needs. That's basically the life of this industry. Manage to secure a big shipment, worth 150k to be exact. Thanks to my operation colleagues, and my managers, strings are pulled and wonders created. Even got a note from my ex-boss, congratulating me for securing the business. But I guess, the credit goes to the team. The whole team. From courier to operational staffs to the supervisors, each and ever