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Breathe

I need a small space, Away from the sound of humans,  Away from the language that I could understand,  And have a solitude on my own. Amidst the laughter and chattering sounds of others, I seek quietness.  Is this wrong? Is this awkward? Is this antisocial?
Should I care how others see me?
I wish that I'm unreachable for a day,  Enough of technology,  Enough of connecting with others,  Enough of fake socialization.  Give me my space,  Give me my time,  Give me my mind,  and my body,  Let me breathe...
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QOTD

What do you really want 5 years down the road? Can you see yourself doing something you love, or will you be complacent at where you are now? 

Rant

I'm exhausted. I don't feel like teaching today, but to be honest, knowing myself, I won't allow that to happen.
Sometimes I wondered, things that I am doing now, is it for the benefit of others? Or just because I wanted to feel good about it? It's a fine line, and I am not sure which side of the line I am standing on.
There are many things going on in my mind. Trying to figure out what should I do, what can I do, how can do these stuffs. There are times, I just felt that everyone wanted a piece of me. Do they feel grateful for every "yes" that I say to them? Or are they taking for granted for these "yes"es?
Again, I don't know. 
I am tired, but I keep running. I am exhausted, but I keep doing what I need to do. I am supposed to learn how to say "no" this year. But I have failed miserably for all I know. 
Anyway, time to teach.. 
Thank You God, for giving me this strength to go on every day. I pray for wisdom and courage to say "n…

Adieu 2015

Today was the last service for 2015 @ CHCKL. As I looked back on 2015, it was definitely a better year to the year before. Which fulfills the theme of 2015 -- "BETTER".

I have decided to start writing more about my journey of faith from today onwards. Hence, the change of my blog name to "Lights on Me, Shine for Others." It didn't sound right to me for now, but I just want to remind myself that the focus is no longer on me, but on Him. 
The reason I chose "Shining for Others" is because of my journey with Him this year. Cambodia mission trip, volunteering in school, teaching in the refugee school. I will continue to do His work for next year. And perhaps, as long as I live on this earth.

As the scriptures says:
Mark 9:35 He sat down, called the twelve disciples over to him, and said, “Whoever wants to be first must take last place and be the servant of everyone else
What's in store for 2016? I do not know, but I know God will take care of it. Be it…

2015 so far

So, this is what I have been doing for the past 9 months:

Jan - New year, 
Feb    - Preaching for the first time (Mark 2: 13-22) April  - Preaching 2nd time (Mark 6: 1-29); Moved back to Kelana Jaya May   - 1) Started Bible Study              2) Preaching 3rd time (Mark 9: 1-33)
(We have been studying the Gospel of Mark throughout this year. Time to challenge myself to preach a free topic sermon).
July 26th - Finally got baptized! Woohoo! Aug - CG multiplication & visited CWO Refugee School (with Deborah's help), wrote a proposal to church for outreach project. Sep - Mission trip to Cambodia.
I guess this year is full of my spiritual journey. It will be a lie if I said that life as a Christian is smooth sailing. I was ridiculed, mocked and accused for standing firm on my faith by disagreeing on doing something against God's will. But I endured it, with the help from my spiritual family of course. 
Just like what one of our worship leader said, if there are no one out there …

The Water Diviner - My 2 cents

After a long period of abstinence in Cinemas, I watched this movie last night with some of my CG members. Not for religious purposes, but just an entertainment for some city people.I did not know that ratings was high on IMDb and Rotten Tomatoes, most probably its because of Russell Crowe's first debut as director. Maybe some Australian & Turkish pride in the mix. Honestly speaking, the movie is flawed, in terms of editing, plot, flow of the story. But, the message it is trying to send through, its tickling my brain and thus, I have to write this down.
My 2 cents worth of thoughts:
1) Love of our Father.
John 5: 20 For the Father loves the Son and shows him all he does. Yes, and he will show him even greater works than these, so that you will be amazed.
Russell Crowe searched for his sons after they died in war for 4 years. Much to our dismay, he actually accepted that he is dead. It is the wife who couldn't let go and ask him to read stories from Arabian Nights to 3 empty…

Thankful

1 Thessalonians 5:18 Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
Be thankful to God no matter what happens, for it is His will and not ours.
Embracing these words, I understand that life consists of all ups and downs, just like a roller coaster. Why do we dwell so much in the negativity in life, while we are blessed with so many other ways by Him.
Thank you dear Father Lord, for I have been blessed by Your love and grace. I had my ups and downs, but I am still alive, breathing and not having any life threatening illness. That is the best gift that I can ask for.

I pray that 2014 will be the best in my life so far. I am going back to KK in 2 months’ time, I hope that I will be well and fit enough to conquer this fear in my heart and be triumphant in conquering Mount Kinabalu. I pray for wisdom and faith as well, to help me make some major decisions in this humble life. Amen.