Lights on Me

It's official! My PC is a teenager who rebels too much! Just like Kenny. 1st it wouldn't let me reformat it, then after i sent it off to the shop, it was ok, for the 1st 24 hours. Then things started to go haywire. Now, can't use my Yahoo!, the Windows Media Player is not working, the Adobe Reader 7.0 is gone, and the Internet is slow (well, due to the earthquake in Southern Taiwan) i can't download the new version.. even the User Accounts (the one that pops up when u press the Start button) is blank. Even the Norton Antivirus is not working. How bad can this be? This is just a damn good way to end my year. Anyway, my friend from Libya is coming soon for a visit next year. 1 whole month here, what is he going to do here?? Anyhow, can't stop feeling excited to meet him at last, after 3 years of chatting online. Since the connection is so slow, might as well just go and sleep. Perhaps I should just wait for JP to help me with this rebel. Sigh...still waiting for my c

Well, haven't been update for quite some while. Well apart that I don't have idea to write, I wasn't in the mood to do so. Anyway, I went to Boon Shim's wedding last Friday (8/12/2006). Yeah.. she got married already, and my granny begins to ask when will I get a bf or better still, married? There she goes again.. Anyway, it was a happy occasion. 700+ guests, and the food is not bad. The best thing is definitely Gavin to meet up with my old classmates. Some which I hvn't meet for 7 years. Time flies.. although it's quite awkward to strike up a nice conversation like before, it's still fun to have them around. Just like old time. I even met the guy whom I used to be gossiped with, and he as usual, still feeling awkward with me. Hahaha... come on.. that's like what, 10 years ago?! He's still shy being seeing me being nice to him. What a funny guy.. Well, a fun nite afterall. My classmates still refer me as the monitor. hehehe... wish to hv a reunion li

Lately, lots have been happening in life. Mostly bad ones. That's the fact of life, shit happens. Nevertheless, i think i need to go out and meet people and perhaps start searching for a possible relationship. I'm getting too lonely sometimes. You want to be back in my life. That's pretty selfish of you don't you think? Somehow, I think you are revenging on her. Trying to show her that you can get a companion easily. And you got no other choice but try to get me back. Ju said that if i gave you another chance, she'll give me a big slap to wake me up, and try all other possible means without killing me to stop me from accepting. Hahaha...maybe i need to think bout that keep myself sane. Finally, something new is making me excited, and nervous at the same time. My paper with Rozelan was accepted for a conference in Bandung. And I might be presenting the paper in the conference, which is a brand new experience for me. Thinking bout having the chance to finally to a fo

Today, I received a call from a student's guardian. She solemnly asked me whether i taught my student how to count in one of her exam pieces. Primarily, i was quite shocked. I tried to recall the last lesson with the kid, and as I remembered it, it went pretty well. A talented kid with a big attitude problem. Anyhow, the last lesson we had was really good. Then, she told me that the my student told her that I never taught her how to count properly, and therefore she couldnt practice the piece properly. I told the lady that it's impossible for me not to teach her about timing and counting. It must be a mistake. Both of us finally agree that the kid is lying again, as usual. 2 hours later, my student came into my class. I was angry at her for accusing me like that. The younger sister told me that her sister was punished for that particular incident and how she had to hide under the piano. Suddenly my anger was gone, and all that left was pity. She prepared her violin in a very s

I've never been that angry in my life like what i did last night. Finally, what ever that I have in mind are out into the wild. That's the first time I lost control over myself, letting myself shouting at the top of my lungs. Letting go of a burden i carried for months. God i felt relieve. I've finally move on. I think he's still in a shock to see me responding like that. Here i come, LIFE.

I'm so angry wiv you, angry wiv myself and I couldn't understand why I'm angry in the 1st place. I'm tired of being this self. Tired of being silent. Why couldn't you be more sensitive with your words? All this while, I have been quiet. I had enough. I want it to stop. All I want is to be my normal self. Is it too much to ask?

I have a sudden urge to write on paper. And all i could find is this piece of receipt in my wallet. Hope that i dun hv to use this one again. Although tired, I actually enjoyed the current state of tranquility. No nagging behind my ears, no complaints about my brothers, no tasks to be done, or more like nothing that can be done... It's just a simple morning, with a cup of freshly brewed coffee, 2 donuts and a newspaper which i could finally read it thoroughly. This is the Sunday morning that I've been craving for quite some time. At home, this piece of tranquility, peacefulness and stressless state of mind is impossible to achieve. What a great start to a long day... I was in Seremban Terminal One's Dunkins Donuts having my breakfast when i wrote this. What an odd place to feel peacefulness don't you think?

"You are fat." (there goes the bomb) "I am suggesting you to go on diet." "OMG, is it serious?" " Take a look at your BMI. It's between overweight and obese." "Imagine what you will looked like when you have kids. Your body size will be double of what you are experiencing currently." "But doc, my weight has been static for almost a year now. I've lost 12 kgs last year alone." "Hmm.. fine, but you still have to cut down on your weight." "It's as simple as ABC. (hell yeah..) Eat a Queen's breakfast, a Middle-man's lunch, and a Beggar's dinner." A recent conversation wiv the doctor.. and the doctor was accusing mum to be 'fat kids lover' for raising a batallion of fat kids. Haha.. poor mum.. Diet again... sigh..

He told me about his new girlfriend. How should an ex response i wonder? It's just weird to listen to your ex talking about his new girlfriend. Anger? Jealousy? I really don't know. Perhaps there's a devil in me that actually hope that it wouldn't work between them . How scary it is to feel this way... It was my 1st relationship, and it ended badly. I asked myself whether i did the right thing to insist on keeping the friendship between us? He was reluctant, but i pushed him into it. I thought I've cope with it, but today, it seems to be back, haunting me. I'm not a saint, or a great person. I have an emotional side which I always tried to hide it away. I portrayed myself as strong, but when it comes to love and relationship, i felt so weak and idiotic. Am I hoping to get back with him? I dunno. I hope not. I dun want to. I still missed him at times. The times that we had together. I still remember every detail of our dates.. I still keep things that he gave me.

My PC wasn't in a good condition after i moved back from Melaka. After a loyal companionship for 2 years, he finally gave up on me. The system crashed, the processor overheating, problems with the DVD-ROM, power failure, virus infection, you named it, I've got it. He was finally sent to the shop for repair. I was thinking of a major overhauling, but with my brothers around, it wouldnt be a wise choice after all. Well, nothing survives under their hands.. The whole service cost me RM 130, and i lost my modem in the process. As a return, I got a free cable which I still dun understand the rationale behind it. Perhaps the shop owner felt the guilt for unable to save my modem. Even after the service, it's not at its tip-top condition. New problems occured, as we couldn't install Adobe and Nero. What a week it was.. Lucky that I got my Streamyx a day after that. At least there's some compensation for able to download songs and movies, surfing the net faster and having a

1) Your own brother said that you nag too much. Worse, your mum tells you that. And the king of all, your granny stopped nagging cause you're the better 'nagger' at home. 2) You prefer staying at home with your pillow rather than partying outside, or have an outing with friends.. I missed my pillow.. 3) TV programs these days seemed to be too violent, too complicated to understand, or too dark (literally) to be seen. 4) You're are way too concern bout the food you're consuming. Low fat...Hi fiber..Non-Fried... Low Cholestrol...or even better, no cholestrol at all.. You get what i meant. 5) Almost all your sentence begins with... "When I was in your age..." I did that almost everyday, handling kids at school and my own brothers! 6) You don't have a clue what's TiVo's or MP4 are... 7) You start sharing some of your wardrobes with your mum. AHHHHH!!!! 8) You start to miss your OLD schooldays' .. 9) It takes you longer to count something more

A usual trip down to Seremban for my violin classes. Apparently, i still can't believe that I'm actually teaching violin nowadays. Supposed to have a new student coming in, but the 4 year old kid went for a singing competition and he was absent. To be honest, I'm amazed with some of my students, who displays such a talent in a very young age. At that age like them, I still don't understand why i have to learn music. Leave alone my violin lessons, as it was really a nightmare. I had teachers who concentrate more on keeping their hair tidy, and managing split ends than on teaching, and of course, I wouldn't forget the teacher who constantly boasted about his skills and his achievement. Surely, I would be be honest enough to admit my unwillingness to learn the instrument as a child, coz it was much tougher than the piano lessons I had throughout my life. It wasn't until later in my violin lessons, that i finally grasped and understand the beauty of it. Then off t

Just went up to Doulos wiv Mum, Paul and Kenny. The last time I went was around 15 year ago. But there weren't Mum, Paul or even Kenny. I was there with Leonard and Dad. Suddenly i missed the old times so much where Dad and Leonard is still around at home. Things have changed alot. Same ship, different companions, different feelings. Life has come a long way for me, and perhaps for everyone that i know. If only I can turned back time, I'll appreciate more all the times that we had, late night's chat, joking around and poking fun at each other . But again, that's human being's weakness--always take things for granted. You wouldn't realized how important a person in your life, or how fortunate to have experienced some things, until you lose it all. I've decided to go abroad. All the tests, the procedures, everything... sigh... it's a long way to go. I'm currently waiting excitingly for the coming school holidays, because that's the only time that I

Life is about choices.. Choices about how you want to run your life, what principles that you hold, what career you are heading in the future. Perhaps, now is a time where tough choices are ahead for me. Both family and friends have their own saying about what is the best. So, what's the best for me? I'm easily influenced by persuasion, and i usually give in easily. Sometimes ever so reluctantly, i followed what people asked or wanted me to do. I do not have much consideration of what I want in the first place. For this, I've been wasting more than a year now, which could easily turned out to be an interesting year for me to proceed to my dreams. A year of frustration, a year of uncertainty, and a year of lost chances. The 6 months in Melaka wasn't the best in my life. Some might say it's just a short period in your life. But in reality, I've lost alot of chances in this 6 months time. Work, study, career, even my relationship. Every person in my life has their

I was really surprised how young kids at the age of 7 & 8 lied and giving excuses for not handing in their homework. 3 kids today gave me unreasonable and of course unbelievable excuses. Case 1: "I have the book. But when i went to buy drinks in the canteen, someone took my book from my bag. After I go back home to finished the exercise, I couldn't find it.... even my Mum couldn't find it. Really!" "emm hm....?" "But just now, when i reached the class, I found the book in my bag. I dunno how it get there, but i'm really sure that it wasn't there yesterday. Really.." "so...?" "Erm... that's why i didn't finish the exercise, cause it's just not enough time for me to finished it." she said with the sweetest smile u can ever imagine. " Can I call your mum now?" In the shortest moment, the cute little girl burst into tears. There goes the far from perfect lie.. Case 2: " My mum brought me to

Given the person in me a few months back this question, "What do you want for your birthday?", my answer might sounded something like this, "It's OK. You don't have to give me anything." Yeah rite.. I'm always conscious of not putting others into trouble to get me something and not receiving from anyone, if I wasn't desperate enough. Perhaps I'm more comfortable as a giver, rather a receiver. There's a tiny voice in me that keep reminding me that being a giver is better than receiving. Maybe it's the moral values that I'm holding on so rigidly all these years. Jules and Sandz told me before that I needed to love myself more. I couldn't understand that actually. I felt happy when people who received from me were happy. It's the act of giving that made me feel happy, or honestly, it made me felt that I'm a good person. And I never think that I deserved anything from anyone. A really troubling side of me huh? Today, when I w

I'm exhausted, I lost my voice and I'm watching the England vs. Ecuador match with an uninterested mind. Today's was a super busy day, not only for me, but the whole school. Enthusiastic parents have been buzzing around in school as early as 7 a.m. selling food and drinks that they donated for the fundraising event. The funds are for the new buildings to cater for the increasing students' population. Every teacher is entitled to a stall to sell some goods. What do I sell? Spring rolls, fish balls and sausages… all deep fried, unhealthy yet tempting to the mouth of little children. That's right, the ultimate Malaysian children's favorite, and as expected; everything was sold off in a surprisingly fast time… God, I felt proud of myself and the parents who were helping at the stall. Even though, I felt a pinch of guilt in selling unhealthy food It has been 2 weeks since I started teaching. While it’s not a new thing to me, as I have been teaching on and off for t

2nd day into FIFA World Cup 2006, and almost everyone in the house are having football fever! Welcome to the club, Kenny! 4 matches has been watched, with currently waiting for the 5th one between Argentina & Ivory Coast in another 30 minutes. Mum & Kenny is having a nap now, hoping to gain conserve some energy to watch the game. Me? I'm too excited to sleep! It has been a good week. Situation in the house has improved tremendously. That makes me really hyper these past few days. Even experiencing the real life of a full time housewife sounds interesting. Something must be very wrong with me.... =) Just increase the DDRam of my PC (Finally!!! been suffering the ever-so-slow syndrome from my PC for almost 2 years now), bought a new printer, and in two more days, i'll be working again. So, it's really pretty exciting for me! Though it's just a temporary job, but as long as it promises some income for my future studies, i really have nothing to complain about. Ok,

With recent and current uproars about price hikes in eletricity, petrol and almost everything else (even my nasi lemak got up by 20 cents!), the government better do something to regain the trust and support from Malaysians. If the current trend keeps going, Pak Lah and his cabinet ministers will definitely have a tough time ahead. If the national election is in the near future, the chances of BN losing their seats in large numbers will be almost certain. What happened to today's Malaysia? With the recent blunder of Datuk Said's "close one eye" issue, people are beginning to lose their faith in the present government. Many starts questioning about the corruption phenomenon in Malaysia. How bad it is? Why do we even have ACA if they are not doing their jobs? One could only wonder how effective is Pak Lah's policy against corruption. Our newspapers have been infested by many governmental blunders and comedies. It's quite amusing to see that some of our YBs are

It's 6 o'clock now. As usual, sitting in front of the PC, in office. Had a bad arm since yesterday, probably for lifting some heavy files few days back.. 6 more days to go and well, lots of things in my mind. A round-up of some events today: American Idol 5: as expected, Taylor Hicks is the winner. Some said he's not talented enough to deserve it, but seriously, he standouts from the start of the season. He left an impact on everyone that follows the show, and I've only seen him thrice. Perhaps, it's unexpected after the favourites were voted out.. Many felt unjusticed for Chris Doughtry, but hey, it's ur decision, ain't it? And now, the more important thing is what does Taylor Hicks got for his "Soul Patrol" (his ultimate fans)? That, we'll have to see. FIFA World Cup 2006 : Friendly matches results: Ecuador vs. Colombia: 1-1 Australia vs. Greece: 1-0 (half-time), interesting match to watch. Let's see how does Australia fare in interna

What a boring day.. It seems that my mind is not working again. Nadia went for conference in Beijing for a week, and I have the room for myself, alone. Which is something supposedly fine by me, but apparently not. Been cracking my head whole day doing write ups but the ideas are just stuck in there, regulating between the neurons without any result. Dr M went for entrepreneurial workshop in Tanjung Keling. This means I've gotta walk to and fro for work for the next three days. Perhaps it's a good time to burn some calories.. Some breakup stories from friends again.. Starting from my own breakup, there has been a number of them facing the same fate. Hah, maybe it's contagious, just like the bird flu virus. Oh.. bout bird flu, Indonesia just recorded 2 cases of human to human transmission of birdflu. Seems like the 'little fellow' has mutated again. Evil little things.. Should be more careful nowadays. Yep, back to the breakup story. Another friend has regain her '

(The Star, 22 May 2006) KUALA LUMPUR: Twenty-one per cent of Malaysians have mental disorders as a result of the pressures of life, and the figure is rising. According to clinical psychologist Mahadir Mohamad, based on a survey from 1995 to 2000, depression topped the list, followed by psychosis, and drug and alcohol-related mental disorders. “Based on year 2000 statistics by the Public Health Institute (Disease Burden Department), 108,324 people suffered depression. Those between the ages of 30 and 59 were most affected by this disease, and the figure is rising by the year,” he said at a forum on recognising mental health and illness organised by KL Clinical Psychology Counselling Centre here yesterday. He said anxiety was also a form of mental disorder, with 33,714 people diagnosed with it. Mahadir, who works for the Health Ministry, said 24,647 people were diagnosed with psychosis. Alcohol and drug-related mental disorders accounted for 21,441 and 27,522 people respectively. “Many a

Yes, The Da Vinci Code. I've watched it yesterday. That 's the second movie i watched in the cinema this year. It was full house and the experience of sitting at the front row for 2 1/2 hour was scary! Nevertheless, it helped to sooth my mood lately, having the chance to get out from my house and work for a change.. Ok, truthfully speaking, the movie doesn't impressed me. I couldn't feel the excitement and the thrill of hunting for the Holy Grail and breaking codes. Tom Hanks wasn't at his best, more likely, he's a little bit lame as Robert Langdon. In the book, Robert Langdon was an expert, confident, charming and charismatic in his own way. The one in the movie? He's very self conscious, most of the time. You can even tell that he's not comfortable being himself. What a disappointment from Hanks! Was having such a high hope of him being the star in the movie! And who can believed that Sophie Neveu is the heir of Jesus and Mary Magdalene? She's not

Sigh...some interruptions with my weekend plans. Well, let's just hope next week will be better. 6 months here. 6 months studying and researching on two topics. "Person-environment congruence" and "locus of control". Hah! Don't have to put on the "what the hell it is?!" look on your face. I've been through that phase. Nah..you don't have to know what it is. Just some terms that I've been using for the past 6 months. That's how my life 's going to be, if I want to be a researcher cum lecturer one day. Studying and researching till the end of my life.... Some may think that this is bored, but strangely, I didn't feel that way. Knowing something new, researching on something, it's actually exciting when you have finished writing a paper. I have come a long way to actually go back. This is my life. This is the path I'm seeing. I have left out music from my career, which might have dissapointed someone. I don't know

Today.. is another sad day for me. They just disabled "e-messenger", which ended my pleasure of keeping in touch with friends lately. Sigh.. exactly 14 more days, and I'll be out. Just have to be patient. Had a long talk with my boss. Many things that we've talked through and I appreciate his acceptance over my rather harsh comment. We're more like friends now, rather than him being my boss, or me being his subordinate. Frankly, it's been a long 5 1/2 half months. Unhappy i may seem, but i do learn alot while working here. Strangely, i think i might even missed this place..

Incredibly lonely today. .. I realized that I've not fit in after all these months. No one knows i'm leaving, apart from my colleagues whom I shared room with, my boss, and my housemate. It's a cold cold world, or was it me who's having problem? In my current state, I really don't give a damn. I've seen too much, heard too much, know too much to love this place. I just want to go home. Home, another place that made me felt difficult so often. Some things are meant to be left out in our lives. But how can we just ignore it if it keeps on hitting our face? I don't know who to talk to, and as i listen more and more, I felt exhausted. As though I'm carrying the Earth on my shoulder. The burden is slowly killing me, but no one knows . Everybody thinks I'm strong enough for this. But, am I? Am I brave enough to face it? Am I coward enough to run away from it? I'm neither. Life is just so confusing.. I don't know how to live it sometimes. But then,

I've watched 2 incredible movies last night, straight. Which currently left me in a certain puzzled mood. 2 different movies, 2 alarming issues, Both, incredibly touching, And thought provoking.. A person can only accodomate this much.. I'll need some time before i can write something about them. My mind haven't stop thinking since last night. Craving for alot of answers again... Oh.. by the way, the 2 movies i was watching are "Brokeback Mountain" and "Munich". And 30 more days to go..

33 days more... Haha, feel annoyed huh? It's just me expressing myself. An exciting day it is, going back home later. I'm currently stuck in the report writing. Worse still, I'm still in the introduction part (chapter 1). Sigh..5 more chapters to go. The more i think, the more i need to read. The more I read, the more I'm unsatistified with what i wrote. So, what do you reckoned? Stop thinking?

A funny guy is currently asking for help to win a bet. It's a bet between him and his girlfriend. What's the bet? Nah, I'm not gonna tell u, but if u r too bored and curious to know, just click the link below: http://www.helpwinthisbet.com/404/ I couldn't stop laughing after i read this. lol

34 more days... Gonna spend my weekend at home! YAY! Gonna meetmy friends! DOUBLE YAY!! Gonna eat seafood! YAYYYYY!!! A sudden crave for "loh mai kai" though.. Ahh... Gotta call my mum now.

It's been long since the last blog. Busy? Hell yeah.. Started to write the final report. I wonder whether i could juz put my name as the author? Though I'm juz an assistant, but honestly, it's my work!! And people's taking credit over it.. Sigh.. It sucks! Raining again, walking back home again. Still figuring what to eat later... So lazy to cook.. Oh yeah..haven't shed a tear for 2 weeks now.. It's a record! Guess I'm back to my normal self. Good for me huh? Another day have pass... 35 more to go...

The album cover of "One Sweet Day", released in 22 Novermber, 1995 (U.S.). Sorry I never told you All I wanted to say And now it's too late to hold you 'Cause you've flown away So far away Never had I imagined Living without your smile Feeling and knowing you hear me It keeps me alive Alive And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven Like so many friends we've lost along the way And I know eventually we'll be together One sweet day Darling, I never showed you Assumed you'd always be there I took your presence for granted But I always cared And I miss the love we shared And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven Like so many friends we've lost along the way And I know eventually we'll be together One sweet day Although the sun will never shine the same I'll always look to a brighter day Lord I know when I lay me down to sleep You will always listen as I pray And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven Like so many

Wow, my emotions went up and down like a roller coaster. And it wasn't even 'that time of the month'.. Why does caring and loving someone is so painful? Knowing that someone you cared did hurtful things to themselves, it hurts ourselves even more. It hurts so much coz i can't do anything to help. It's almost 3 months now. We confessed to each other that it's hard to let go. Sometimes, we even wished that our status never change and we're back together. But, is it possible? Is it realistic to chose the same path again without solving the problems? Just when I thought I'm starting a new life, it turns out to be the other way.. I just hope that he'll be ok. Safe, healthy and happy. That's all i wish for him..

I’m just a kid I felt so tiny To be standing among giants Just like a lonely drop of water In the vast vigorous ocean. I wonder Will I ever grow up? How wise I can ever be? How many lives can I touch? How much I can do? In this fragile frame.. I’m just a kid I have desires to learn To absorb And to digest Every particle that came around. I’m just a kid. Yearning to be appreciated And to be recognized By the greater ones. After 20 years of experience I’m still stumbling through the street Looking for someone Someone who is willing To guide me And to grow together With me. After all, I’m just a kid…

Gone are the days of the floppy disks... We don't have to keep the stacks of vulnerable ugly black plastics that could only hold 1.44MB of memory each. We don't have to worry about losing the files as it's very prone to virus and corrupted files. We now have...... USB flash drive!!!! Flash drive, thumb drive, memory stick, intelligent stick.....etc. Whatever u named them, they still refer to a simple device to store files which can hold up a minimum 64MB of memory. So many brands, so many designs, which would you choose? I came across a brilliant design for this device. It's called "flashbag", kinda lame actually. Anyway, this cute design enable the flash drive to bloat up as the amount of the data increase. Imagine the balloon or the puffer fish... " When swithched off the flashbag remains pumped up, so you can estimate with the naked eye how much more pics, books and music albums can be transferred into it. " Pics showing the design of flashbag wi

Malaysian education system has been criticized throughout the years. While many boasted about its quality since the passes rate for all the public examinations has risen annually, one could only wonder this 'information' really truly reflects the scenario of our education system. I could remember the year when i sat for my UPSR (Ujian Penilaian Sekolah Rendah) as a SRJK student (a.k.a. Chinese/Indian school). We were asked to choose to sit for the SK (National School) paper for Malay Language if we desire to skip remove class (the transition from standard 6 to form 1). I took up the challenge as i was quite confident wiv my malay language level at that time. Those who refuse to take the 'more challenging' paper are destined to continue to remove class after standard 6. The reason (or more like an 'excuse' to me) are chinese and indian students in SRJK schools are performed poorly in their Malay Language. Spending another year to adapt to the language will hel

Just came back from the expo. Manage to collect some datas today. It wasn't easy coz they are doing business at that time. But, somehow i just have to braved up myself and ask them to answer the questionnaires. Luckily, 3 did respond, completing the whole questionnaire without any problems. Down with fever again, migraine attacking. Yet, I'm still in office, waiting for the temperature outside to cool down before i walked back home. It really wasn't a good day, and worse still, my boss asked me to go out and collect data again.. sigh..I'm really tired.. But job is job. I rather prefer to finish it off earlier than extending my contract to another 3 months.. Funny how my colleague can be down with sickness everyday. Headache, stomachache, tired (not enough sleep..she said). As a result, I've been doing some her jobs. Wish I can be that vulnerable everyday.. God knows how I'm feeling now. So lethargic, so sick, and down.... Feel like drowning again.. Was hoping t

Still recovering from a high fever yesterday. It wasn't a good week to go through. Boss on leave, going Japan and Hong Kong for the next whole week. It means, I gotta make important decisions for one whole week. Sigh, it's never easy when people aren't that cooperative. Respect is something that I'll never gain here. Being a minority, being a fresh grad, being a temporary colleague. Somehow, work has to be done. My boss asked me to stayed back and continue doing Masters here. I refused his good will. He realized that i'm leaving soon, contract ending in 2 months time. I thought otherwise. It was too long for me to be here (4 unenjoyable months), i told him.. He chuckled. "I just don't feel like working here anymore." I added. He understand what i meant. I wasn't at home for the past 5 years. Always away, for my study and now for my work? Mum wants me back at home, at least close to home. But i really don't have a place there. I don't even

I was late for office for 2 days straight. Not purposely or without permission though. There's a good reason behind all this. Finally after 1 whole week in the dark, my room welcomes the lighting technology once again. My landlord finally send his workers to fix the bloody fluoroscent light in my room after few days of shouting and complaining through the phone.. It took less than 5 minutes to fix it, but it takes more than 2 days to convinced the man to get his ass down here to fix the thing. Going back home today... 2 more months exactly and I'm outta this place. Relief? Probably. Time to move on. Gonna be a busy weekend, meetings and friends outing, visiting relatives... Hope to meet Jules and Eric this week. Missed them alot. Lots to share with them. Surprisingly, Sandra is in KL now. Wished to see her, but time is just too short for me to do everything i want. Something funny happening these past few days. Something very distracting. It made me think about some decisions i

Still in the office. Can't concentrate anymore on work. Nadia,my colleague is still typing at a breakneck speed. Rushing to finish her paper for an international conference. It's a sad sort of silence between us, haven't talk for hours. "Who'e taking care of your baby?" I asked. " He's at home with my husband." She replied. That was the last converstion we had today, sometime around 10.0m a.m. It's been more than 6 hours since we actually communicate. While I'm just enjoying my time here, she's been stressing for hours. Wonder how I can make her more comfortable... Perhaps I should go back home now and leave her alone. Busy Sunday, next week too. Not busy, but I'll be having business meetings, visiting my gran in Seremban, then rushing back to Melaka again. Don't think I'll have time to meet up with Jules or Sandz next week. I really crave for it though. Jules said she's always anxious to meet me too everytime I went

" Night scene at Teluk Likas, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah" photo courtesy of http://members.virtualtourist.com/m/99916/138c41/ It's sunday and I'm in office.. Sigh... starting to sound like a work addict huh? Gonna be here until evening today, lots of work to do. Well actually, it's just a 2 minutes drive from home. Since, no one at home, might as well just stay in office and do some blogging. *wink. Went to the beach at Riviera Bay Hotel with Kat last night. The moment I stepped on the beach, it reminds me of Teluk Likas in KK. Missed those times when we don't have to drive so long just to reach the beach.. The city itself is just by the sea. And on the way back from the city to UMS, you can see people sitting by the ocean, fishing and 'pak-toh-ing' along the road. And at night, you can just sit by the sea and be mesmerized by the cool breeze, the sound of the waves crashing to the rocks, and who can ever forget the beautiful symphony of neon lights dancing

It's funny how it all started. We hated, or perhaps in a better definition, "dislike" each other when we first met. Both of my closest friends were someone that wasn't pleasant having around at first. Probably i'm the one who need to be blamed for not trusting people easily. This particular friend of mine was my schoolmate* in uni (*noted that school here refers to School of Psychology and Social Work, not secondary school/high school/primary school). We heard about each other, we disliked each other, but in a very unexpected way, we became friends after attending a same class in our 2nd year! (God have it's own reason i guess..) She was not in my course by she took on of the subject in my course as an elective. And after the IVAC ( Inter-University AIDS Conference) 2004, we became even closer. Closer than any of my coursemates whom I've accustomed with their presence in my uni life for 2 years. I was really skeptical at first. How can a person trust some

Today's data collection hasn't been going on smoothly. Anyway, when has it been? Sigh.. Asian mentality especially Malaysian mentality is a nightmare to any reseacher who needs to collect data using survey or questionnaire. Never in their mind that these datas that they provide can be used to help them back in their life. Same thing happened today, while we were so anxious of getting a big pool of respondents for our research (After 3 months into it..), whoosh.......they flush down our effort into the toilet bowl. Come to think back when I was collecting data from the uni students, the students (whom we expected to be more understanding about the true nature of research, yeah right...) did exactly the same thing. So, honestly, it was rather expected from the older counterparts today. The moment we passed out the questionnaires: "Again?! Malas lah ( literally means lazy in malay)..." "Do we have to answer? Really??" "Do we get anything in return for ans

Finally, they enable the access to Blogger again!! Yay! My friendster is still disable though... What a stupid act it was, disabled tonnes of websites and stuffs. Sigh, really miss my bloggie. But right now, I'm really tired and busy with work. Papers to hand in, research to do and dozens of things running around my head. And I'm having a irritating sore throat!!! Anyway, hope that i'll have the pleasure of updating this blog again soon! Stay tuned!

Remember the annoying, big mouthed yet good in nature Donkey in Shrek and Shrek 2? Can you remember any friends that resembles the Donkey? And seriously, I DO NOT MEAN PHYSICALLY!!! Recently, I've come to realized that there are lots of " Donkeys " in my life. Don't feel offended if I'm referring anyone as a donkey, coz do put in mind that at the same time, I'm an Ogre too. Yep, it's funny how some friends tend to annoyed us so much that we would like to tell them to shut their mouth sometimes! They will keep on going just to keep us annoyed even you've give out all the possible signals and hints that you're really not in the mood to join in their play. But their patience is somewhat last for eternity. They'll follow you around just to keep you in their watching distance. Although some may not resembled the loud Donkey in Shrek, but they do have other ways to annoy you. I have this particular friend who were so choosy and annoying, and somet

What a jovial mood i'm in. Nothing particular exciting but just felt good, at least until now. Gonna go back home later on a 2 1/2 hours of bus travel... Sigh... Just realized that I've been travelling back home like this for years. During my uni days (hah, sound like it's been so long!), i couldn't afford to travel back home every weekends/month. Too far away and the only transport available is airplane. So, I went back twice or a year, sometimes during holidays, sometimes during term break. Remembering back then, we students are really good in calculating the lowest expenditures to go back home.. Many of us had actually mastered all the required skills (accounting and planning skills) and can easily passed off as travel agents or accountants. We even mastered our acting skills especially to the staffs in airlines booking agency and airports ( it's due to the fact that we are almost certain to bring overweight luggage every time we stepped on an airplane).. The who