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Showing posts from 2012

Les Misérables

Les Misérables was written by Victor Hugo and published in 1862. That was 150 years ago in France. Jean Valjean (a.k.a. prison 24601) is the main protagonist in the novel, is finding redemption for his wrong doings. He stolen a loaf of bread to feed his sister and his family, got caught and was sent to prison for 5 years. Another 14 years was put on him for his escape attempts. Throughout his life, he always try do the right things, as a redemption of himself to God. He tried to save Fantine, and eventually Cosette, Fantine's daughter bore out of wedlock, Marius, Corsette's love interest as well as Varjet (the police officer who himself finding redemption of his own). While I have not read the book, the musical strongly touched me. This is one of the best song in the musical production, Bring Him Home, sang by Alfie Boe. This is definitely the best rendition I have ever heard and one could only cry, listening to it. It depicts the scene where Valjean prays to God to bri
Somehow, I wasn't feeling as happy as I wanted. I thought it was the job. Which I agreed partially, but there's more to it. Wonder what does it take to lead a happy life. Lately, there's lots of things that goes through my mind. Many things has happened against my will. Against my favor. And day by day, I wonder what was the purpose of living at all. In fact, the suicidal thoughts came back peeking into my life without me realizing it. So mundane, so boring, so lifeless. I wish I have my car now, so that I can just drive out from the town and spend a night next to a beach. I don't need anyone to go with me. All I need is a time out.  Time out from people, time out from work, time out from myself. 
After much thought, I have decided to leave a place I call 2nd home in the past 4 years.  I need a break from all this and I need to keep my sanity for once. Surprised? Not at all. This thought has been with me since last year after dad passed away.  Time for me to move on, nothing much for me to prove. Counting the days now.

Missing You

Somehow, I missed my dad alot today. I tried to recall all our memories together, but somehow only the ones during his ordeal with cancer appears. October 2011 : Got news from grand aunt Irene that dad was sick. Went back to KB for the 1st time after 21 years. Had a shock looking at my dad. The flight back to KL was the longest ever in my life. The flashbacks on how he was struggling to sip even water from a cup, put aside heaving to chew a piece of bread. The image till now, was vivid and surreal. The father whom has been taking care of me for the past 20 over years, cant even walk on his own. He was the hospitalized in HUM. Thinking back to that 3 weeks, I felt so much heart pain. I told him to get well, so we can go for a family vacation to Perhentian Island that has been long overdue. He was very happy and promised me that he will be strong. Dad started chemotherapy on  28th October 2011. He was doing good for 3 days, he felt energized and doctor was convinced that he can cope

Nightmare

Yesterday, I had an accident on my way back home. It was funny, how fast people reacts. Within seconds, more than 15 people running out from no where to help. That was what I thought. HELP. Eventually, these people keep asking me to get out from the car, ask me not to panic. What happened in the next 5 minutes, I called Kevin, Irfan & Leonard, I went to get the triangle indicator from car boot, the tow truck guy came and everyone dispersed. This guy, told me to check my belongings. Insisting to put my bags away and check whether anything was missing. And what I found out was the shock of my life... my company's laptop was stolen!! For what ever reason it is, I cannot believed that the guys that were trying to "help" was actually thieves! I almost broke down, some Malays from the neighbor went to chase after them, someone saw them going under the bridge. All my hard work for the pat 1.5 years are in the laptop. What on earth can I do without the laptop? Not even

Who will you choose?

Many people are anticipating on the upcoming general elections this year, tentatively. My take on the current political situation here in Malaysia: Opposition : Making use of FB and Twitter - which proves effective in the last election targeting on the more educated population and developed states, i.e, KL, Selangor, Perak & Penang. This though, at times can be really annoying due to the fanatics on FB who are objecting every single thing that the Government does. just for the sake of objecting.  Wake up call to BN (ruling party). Finally the people can stood up on their feet and tell them straight to the face, we are watching you.  Hence many corruption cases are unearth, being the latest case on Shahrizat. Seriously, how could her 20+ years old children getting salary of 30-35k??? What the hell are they doing? updating FB?  Progress on the states : you got 5, namely KL, Selangor, Penang, Kedah & Kelantan, Perak (almost, unfortunately being robbed after some stupid pol

Rambles

After bouts of down-ness last week. I finally manage to put it aside, temporarily. I know I still need to face it when it comes. Perhaps in another month or two. CNY is around the corner, while we are not celebrating this year, relatives are coming around to have a family dinner. Reunion dinner and new year lunch will still be on. This is the 1st time we are not having dad around. Trust me, after 2 months, I still miss him. I missed him joking around with us, doing impressions with Leonard. If he is still around, he would have love our new family member, Crystal as he always love dogs. Another excitement, is Kevin & I will be going for a photo shooting again! Yay!! Perhaps I should ask James whether he will be around. But well, its CNY. Should be with family. Anyway, our destination will be in Dong Zen Temple in Jenjarom. As this might be the last year Kevin is around, this should be something where we can remember for a long time. Looking at the pictures of previous years onli

2012

1st post in 2012, and it is about pain and heartache. Definitely not a good omen for the year. But as pastor said to day, we are running to win. Not to give up just yet. Yes, I might give up this relationship which seems more and more distance to me, but I should not give up on other things in life. This year, I am going to climb KK Mountain. God knows how afraid am I to be given such a challenge. But its a obstacle that I need to overcome. Perhaps once I reached the top, it will open my path ahead, literally. I will have the courage to overcome my fear in life, fear of commitments, fear of being in a relationship, fear of getting out from my comfort zone. This is a promise I have for myself. No backing off, no matter what. No matter how hard and tough it is going to be, no breaking down in tears, no more self pity. Welcome, 2012.

Someone Like You

Adele's Someone Like you has been playing in my mind today. I felt that she's singing about what I am going through now. And its all the pain and the sadness in the song piercing into my heart today. How irony it is, how unexpected it is, how bitter sweet it is. I guess, this is what I wanted to tell you exactly. The exact words that comes from my heart. Wonder whether you will come to my blog again after this. I heard that you're settled down That you found a girl and you're married now. I heard that your dreams came true. Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you. Old friend, why are you so shy? Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light. I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it. I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded That for me it isn't over. Never mind, I'll find someone like you I wish nothing but the best for you too Don't for