Lights on Me

After bouts of down-ness last week. I finally manage to put it aside, temporarily. I know I still need to face it when it comes. Perhaps in another month or two. CNY is around the corner, while we are not celebrating this year, relatives are coming around to have a family dinner. Reunion dinner and new year lunch will still be on. This is the 1st time we are not having dad around. Trust me, after 2 months, I still miss him. I missed him joking around with us, doing impressions with Leonard. If he is still around, he would have love our new family member, Crystal as he always love dogs. Another excitement, is Kevin & I will be going for a photo shooting again! Yay!! Perhaps I should ask James whether he will be around. But well, its CNY. Should be with family. Anyway, our destination will be in Dong Zen Temple in Jenjarom. As this might be the last year Kevin is around, this should be something where we can remember for a long time. Looking at the pictures of previous years onli

1st post in 2012, and it is about pain and heartache. Definitely not a good omen for the year. But as pastor said to day, we are running to win. Not to give up just yet. Yes, I might give up this relationship which seems more and more distance to me, but I should not give up on other things in life. This year, I am going to climb KK Mountain. God knows how afraid am I to be given such a challenge. But its a obstacle that I need to overcome. Perhaps once I reached the top, it will open my path ahead, literally. I will have the courage to overcome my fear in life, fear of commitments, fear of being in a relationship, fear of getting out from my comfort zone. This is a promise I have for myself. No backing off, no matter what. No matter how hard and tough it is going to be, no breaking down in tears, no more self pity. Welcome, 2012.

Adele's Someone Like you has been playing in my mind today. I felt that she's singing about what I am going through now. And its all the pain and the sadness in the song piercing into my heart today. How irony it is, how unexpected it is, how bitter sweet it is. I guess, this is what I wanted to tell you exactly. The exact words that comes from my heart. Wonder whether you will come to my blog again after this. I heard that you're settled down That you found a girl and you're married now. I heard that your dreams came true. Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you. Old friend, why are you so shy? Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light. I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it. I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded That for me it isn't over. Never mind, I'll find someone like you I wish nothing but the best for you too Don't for