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Torment

Today was another typical day of working. With a little different, I wore an old t-shirt to the office. Well, everyone was really surprised, cause it's not even weekend. I figure that I need to save my office outfits for some other occasion rather than spoiling it during my work in the warehouse. I'm generally out of black office wear that can withstand the heat, sweat and dirt that i have to mingle every day.

My ego pushed me to the edge today.

In my mind, I have a bachelor degree.
I'm educated, i have a strong education background, with good academic records.
In fact, I am the best student in my faculty.

And yet, why on earth am I packing goods in the warehouse??
God knows why.

For the past 2 months or so, I have been involved deeply in the whole operation. That is based on an agreement between my manager and I, which requires us to 'fix' the problem in the operation. We did. The delivery system was improved. The waiting time for deliveries has been cut down from 2 weeks to 3 days. 5 days for outstation orders.

Stress level among the workers has been reduced significantly. No more unprofessional blaming and finger pointing when things went wrong. Effective communication between staffs improved prominently. Warehouse managing and daily planning were done properly and systematically. Best outcome from our interference:

EVERYONE CLAIMS THAT THEY ARE MORE HAPPY WORKING THAN EVER IN THIS COMPANY.

I am happy, honestly. But again, why am I here? I got my job done properly, and now, I was asked to stay for another 5 months or so. The reason is, the management wants the operation to be stable, and the result of that, I have to stay in the warehouse for another 5 fucking months!

Mum is a cool woman. She doesn't show much emotions through the years I''ve known her as an adult. Yet, even mum couldn't stand seeing me working this way.

Every single night that I went back home, i ate my dinner and the next thing I know, I was asleep...while watching tv, while reading newspapers, while talking to mum... When mum actually notice that and voice it out, all I can say is, it's really serious.

Funny when I used to say that money is not that important after all. Look at me now, I'm struggling everyday, forcing myself to work like this, working extra hours everyday.. all because of money. Sarcastic as it seems, but I have to admit, I'm more materialistic than I thought I were.

After all this torment, I hated most the fact that I'm alone. Really pissed off with life like this.

Comments

hey dear, this is working world. I hope that you will only be stronger in the future after all that you've been put through at work.

Sometimes, being too hands-on in a work doesn't mean that it's a bad thing. This could be a way to bring u up into the management level, since after this u will have both the operations and management skills.

i totally understand how you're feeling about why are you here when you've such good grades and all. sometimes it's fate, but sometimes its because we didnt want to change. or too afraid of changing.

i'm now 3 years into the same industry and yet i ask myself everytime if this is what i want to do for the rest of my life.

you're not alone in this world u know dear? you have got friends like me and marcia who cares deeply. and i think your mum just show it in a very different way.

all you need is just the right time to bring to wherever you want to be or go. and for that, you need to be patient and go through this rocky road. :)

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