Lights on Me

Its MSR (Monthly Sales Review) today. As my manager shows my performance slide today, my "dot" on the graph literally flew out from the graph. I do feel proud of myself. I am doing so well, that it makes everyone in the team looked so bad. I think I deserve a pat on a back, a long vacation, a promotion, and a big fat commission. I deserve all this. Who could think that after disastrous start in my sales line, I will be able to achieve what I am achieving today? Although I find it hard to stay on, put on a mask and work here every day... I deserve the recognition. Who knows, maybe this year I will be the OSP, wining a trip to Phuket fully paid by company? Who knows that I can be so vain... hahahaha... What a month.

Lately, I am becoming an angry person. I barely feel happy or satisfied with my life. Things that I observed around me, just proves that there's no equality in life. Never. Be it at work, family or friends. Being hardworking doesn't get you anywhere, if you do not know how to make connections. I made a big decision lately to stay at where I am. My family doesn't know why or what make me changed my mind. I have to be here, I assumed. At least, they will feel happier to have me running the errands which my brother won't be able to do so. Suddenly, I blame everything on my dad. Its because of him that I am in this confused state. It's because of him that I can't let go of responsibilities. It's because of him that our family are torn apart. I figure, its not right to think that way, but who else can I blame? I took 2 days off and have a long weekend ahead, just for myself. I wish to be alone. I wish to go off somewhere without telling anyone, but I know the con...