Lights on Me

What a week. Enjoyed so much at to be at home with mum, gran and Paul. At times, I feel really guilty for not spending much time with them. Guess, that's why I tried staying longer these days. Just to chat with them. I really feel that time is running out and to be honest, I'm afraid that I will regret if I do not start now. Gran's health is deteriorating these days. After 30 years of staying together, it seems like mum and Gran has come to an understanding. To give up on something and to move on with light. Perhaps, when you are lost and lost hope, the next best thing is to depend on the physically nearest person to you. After years and years of argument and dislike, they do not have choice but to maintain a good relationship. It's always the better option to make peace rather than make war. Thanks Mum and Gran for giving us the love and warmth all this while. As for the other person, it all end with the same phrase that I posted on FB. " Never make a promise th...

Damn... really sleepy. Regretted to bits to wake up at 7am (on a Saturday?!) and waited for the plumber to fix the damn taps. It's suppose to be Saturday, the day everyone anxiously waiting for. But today is just really crazy.... slept for less than 4 hours, my eyes are glued together. Thought of heading to gym but well... don't think my body can take it.. Or at least my eyes can't take it. I need sleep, but I need to go back Klang, service my car, fix my watch, then out for dinner with JP. ARGH!!! Why can't weekend be longer?! Anyhow, in a dilemma now, should I go to gym now, or go back Klang directly? Money running low too, especially with all the bills... bro's uni fees and bills.. another summon from JPJ... tenant leaving.... How I envy Khoo, Lili and Erwin's holidaying in Bali now. :(

I don't usually believe in hocus pocus.. I'm a reformer, right? But bad things does happen more frequently simultaneously. Coincidentally, its Friday 13th. Yesterday, I received a big complain from a customer, whom later apologized to me. She told me " Sharon, I hope I don't put you in much trouble.." Wtf?! Damage has been done. The complain letter which she CC to a local news paper.. really put me in hot soup. I can only wonder what I have to go through for next week. 2 Peruvian guys came to our office. Asking for help. Can I speak Spanish? Unfortunately, no. Really pity them. With Ann's help, we finally made out of what are they saying. These 2 guys, is suppose to go back to Peru next Tuesday and their air ticket is still on the way from US. Can they make it? Not sure. But I have taken down the consignment note number, really hope they manage to catch their flight. it really feels like a movie scene. Perhaps about 2 pitiful person trapped in a stranger city...

Just back from a trip..What a tiring journey especially when you are driving alone. Thanks to the radio though that I can spend my time humming and singing alone in the car.. I'm really a freak for oldies... and I dunno why. :) Need a short nap now... tomorrow is yet another long day ...

On leave today... yet calls started coming in since 8am. I guess in service industry, customers can never understand what is the meaning of being on leave, and office hours. Boss said, it's never ending work. Day in day out, customer will be shipping (they better be or else we will out of business). And of course, across the service industry, there will never be a fool proof service without any hiccups. Shits happens... Just on a bad day like WHEN I'M ON LEAVE, shit happens more frequently.. Somehow it's just like Murphy's Law. Especially in sales, when you feel that things are bad enough, somehow, some way, things can get just shittier. Things might gone missing, shipment might be delay by customs, customer might not pay the outstanding... and the list goes on and on and on... As a sales person, we are expected to be an all rounder, Jack of all trades. Frontline, backline, middle line, under line, dotted line... no wonder we are call the super team. Especially the ones...

Sun rays come down as seen when they hit the ground, Children spinning around till they fall down down down. I wait for you: it's been two hours now, You're still somewhere in town, Your dinners getting cold. I rest my case you are always this late, And you know how much I hate waiting around 'round 'round, Bitter heart, bitter heart tries to keep it all inside, Bitter heart, bitter heart shadows will help you try to hide, Bitter heart, my bitter heart is gettin' just a little fragile, [ Zee Avi Lyrics are found on www.songlyrics.com ] Bitter heart, bitter heart of mine. And then you come and tell me the same reason as you did yesterday, So tell me whats her name. Doo doo da dum, doo doo da dum, doo doo doo doo doo doo da da dum dum, da da da da dum, da da da da dum, da da da da dum. Bitter heart, bitter heart tries to keep it all inside Bitter heart, bitter heart shadows will help you try to hide, Bitter heart, my bitter heart is just getting a little fragile, Bitt...

1) Addiction to Mafia Wars in Facbook. I need to get my Godfather book from Klang!! 2) 9 months in sales.... I thought I never survive past June 2009. 3) Enjoying my weekend finally! 4) Just had a short break from Kuantan :) 5) Thinking of coming trip to Cameron Highlands! 6) Gym ... gym... gym.. 7) Work...work..work..

Work seems to take most of my time in life. Many said to me, don't get too attached with my job. Work is endless. If you ever find one day that you don't have any work to do, that will be the day you have to leave your job. Yet, I don't have any other life except my job. Being new in the team pressures me more to perform as I'm really a 'kiasu'. Being at the bottom for 1st few months, really push me to move forward. Indeed last month, I found some relief in my job. But, every month will be a new challenge. This is my true nature. Many times I thought, why am I in this line of career. What happened to my studies? My music? My passion? Day in day out, sometimes, I dread going to work. But once I started, I don't look back at all. So many things to do. I wonder when will I be able to let go. Let go of my job, let go of my crazy hectic life. Let go of my 'kiasu'ness. When will I dare to make that change in life? I really don't know.

Wish to go for a cinema. Doesn't matter if I need to go alone. Wish to go to the bookstore, Borders, Kinokuniya, MPH, or even Popular... I just need some knowledge juice for my hungry brain. Wish I am still in the bed... watching all my episodes of downloaded House, CSI, The Simpsons... Wish I am out in the park, joggin with my MP3 Players.. have some new good workout songs lately.. Wish to have a short vacation.. somewhere far from city, far from house, far from work... Wish to have the money enough to splurge for myself.... Maybe a trip to the Zoo again.. parks.. garden... beach.. Or maybe a just spending time with a good book and a good cup of coffee... And yet, where I am?? At 3.06pm , 09 May 2009, Saturday......... I'm still at the f****** office! Blehs!~

I woke up early to baby blue eyes from afar whoah whoah And when the sun comes through lights you like the angel you are whoah whoah I know I do you wrong when I'm with you I've been gone With every season change, it looks the same, November to June whoah whoah And don't these empty streets skip a beat the flowers don't bloom whoah whoah I can't believe I missed your birthday again And I wanna come back but I just don't know when now And I'm so lonely your not here with me That's why I'm gonna be on the next plane home The road that never ends around the bend I see your smile whoah whoah I'd swim acorss the sea to be with you for a while whoah whoah Cos I've made a life of been gone Now the way that I feel is just that I don't belong here And I'm so lonely you're not here with me That's why I'm gonna be on the next plane home And you're, you're the only face I wanna see That's why I'm gonna be on the next p...

Life has been a mess for the past whole week. Juggling between work and family is not my strength. I certainly missed mum being around. He just lost his respect from all his children. He knew it before and he definitely knows it now. But he's just too arrogant to come back and admit that it's his fault that things turn out so badly. I confronted him for his actions last night. I have never raised my voice against him, but yesterday, it's just really unbearable. If I knew what happened later after I left, I would have screamed my lungs out and bring my brothers along with me. Last night, what you did is plainly stupid. Stupid, for leaving your family behind. Stupid, for seeking for comfort from others while your wife is here waiting at home. Stupid, for not caring over your children. Stupid, for ignoring your responsibility as a son, a husband and a father. You have definitely lost what you had all this while. All because of your ego, arrogance and stupidity.

Mum had a stroke last Tuesday. It was really a sudden call.. perhaps it's a sign for her to opt for retirement. At 56, she seems really strong and healthy, but things are not always what we wanted. Mum's illness has been the focus for all of us for the past few week. I cried so many times, fearing that I might lose her. I have not even take care of her as what I have hope for. Times has been really chaotic for the past whole week. Juggling my work, and managing my brothers and family matters, I felt so tired and exhausted. Few times when I drove to work from Klang early in the morning, I almost got into accident. I really have no choice, but to ask Dad to come home and help. He came back, but it's hard to accept him back. My brothers were angry at him, I am angry at him. Suppose that he came back earlier and sort things out with mum, perhaps mum won't get struck by this sudden stroke. How life changes in a moment. How fragile us humans in the eyes of God. How worthless ...

Started fresh today. I had a good vibe since morning, mainly due to my 40 minuted jogging I guess. Finally, I've made the first step. I woke up early today, to see my running shoes, clean and white, lying just beside the door. A sure reminder to make me walk to the park and start my day. My Sony Walkman NWZ-B133F.. good companion for jogging. Along I pickup my Sony Walkman , which I have downloaded some songs for jogging, I walked to the park just outside the apartment. Although it's almost 8pm. but still, no one was there. There used to be a group of middle aged ladies dancing around the court, wonder where they are today...? As the crowd grows around the park, I decided to head back to the apartment and get my car. I have planned to eat 'you char kuey' today and there's a vendor near the sports complex near by. Bought 5 of it, 2 long ones, one with red beans, one round one but empty ( this is delicious!) and the one with glutinous rice. I can't even wait to r...

Simple editing: Focal & Polaroid Found this online picture editing website Picnik where you can just put effects on your pictures without any hassle. You can even create a simple 2-4 picture collage (or pay $24.95 for more options). Simple photo collage. It's simple to use and the layout of the website is just so cool! At least for someone like me that do not know how to use Photoshop. Best thing of all, it's free and you don't have to download any softwares or tools. Just edit online and save it in your PC. Here's the URL link: http://www.picnik.com/app#/home/welcome

I've just watched one of the most terrifying documentaries so far.. Ghosts of Rwanda, a 2004 year production by PBS to recount the 100-days terror of Rwandan Genocide in 1994. Once could argue how the numbers of people being massacred was far more less than the Holocaust or the genocide by the Khmer regime. But the truth is within the 100 days, humanity literally torn apart by our selfishness, and most leaders in the world are just ignoring the true fact of evil. While it does not recount the events preceding to the genocide, the documentary capture the whole genocide and how the community of the world reacts to it... simply by DOING NOTHING. Sadly, even UN pulled out the humanity aid and peacekeepers and only a few were left to save the helpless Tutsis. One of the most grueling image that I saw was the scene that was captured at a church. Thousands of corpse were piled up against the wall of the church and below the statue of Jesus Christ opening up his hands looking down at a si...