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Ambitious

I have a crazy idea, to start my own business. I spoke to few people, yet, others seems to be in their comfort zone. They want to stay put in their current situation. Or are they not confident enough with me.

Am I the ambitious one here? As far as I know, I do not want to work for people in the future. I want to work for myself. Answering to myself. Taking off whenever I want.

Current working condition has been really tough. Answering questions. Managing perceptions especially. It was a new term that I learned few months back. To progress, every thing is about management's perception towards you. We even have a panel for higher management to review on us yearly.

If you fu**** something up, you are done. You will never ever be able to move on. I only wonder how did people manage to work there for donkey years. Don't they get tired or bored with the same people, same job? Occasionally, seeing people who did not work as hard as you get all the recognition they want.

I know I'm being grumpy because the figures are bad this month. Now, I am wondering what else to answer to them. What do I need to tell them to ensure them to understand that I have not been slacking off. I have been doing my job the best I can.

Come back to business thing. I do not have the experience. But I really need to start off something. Fast. I need planning, I need brain storming. I need support and the encouragement. I am feeling tired working for people.

Perhaps one day when I looked back, at least I won't regret that I was too scared to do anything bout my life. I want to be successful, in my own terms. Serving God, serving the community and family. Which I am not able to do so, as long as I am working here.

So, I pray to God, let me be enlightened, let me have the courage and sources to start off a new life. Let me be able to gain a better life.

Amen.

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