Lights on Me

Its MSR (Monthly Sales Review) today. As my manager shows my performance slide today, my "dot" on the graph literally flew out from the graph. I do feel proud of myself. I am doing so well, that it makes everyone in the team looked so bad. I think I deserve a pat on a back, a long vacation, a promotion, and a big fat commission. I deserve all this. Who could think that after disastrous start in my sales line, I will be able to achieve what I am achieving today? Although I find it hard to stay on, put on a mask and work here every day... I deserve the recognition. Who knows, maybe this year I will be the OSP, wining a trip to Phuket fully paid by company? Who knows that I can be so vain... hahahaha... What a month.

Lately, I am becoming an angry person. I barely feel happy or satisfied with my life. Things that I observed around me, just proves that there's no equality in life. Never. Be it at work, family or friends. Being hardworking doesn't get you anywhere, if you do not know how to make connections. I made a big decision lately to stay at where I am. My family doesn't know why or what make me changed my mind. I have to be here, I assumed. At least, they will feel happier to have me running the errands which my brother won't be able to do so. Suddenly, I blame everything on my dad. Its because of him that I am in this confused state. It's because of him that I can't let go of responsibilities. It's because of him that our family are torn apart. I figure, its not right to think that way, but who else can I blame? I took 2 days off and have a long weekend ahead, just for myself. I wish to be alone. I wish to go off somewhere without telling anyone, but I know the con...

What a Sunday. Woke up at 1.30pm. Had my breakfast at 2.00pm. Dun feel like going back today, hope Gran doesn't mind. Another day before yet another Monday. A boring one I believe. Plan to re-read HP's final book. Can't wait for the movie this coming Christmas ;)

Happy Birthday Chanise! Lots of love from your aunt here, and hope you had a great birthday! Missing you much! Mmuacks! :)

Last Sunday after church, I went back Klang as usual. Having my weekly dose of family time with mum, gran and Paul. I sensed some tension at home. Not knowing why, I commented on the old TV in the living room. It was a bad call. The TV keep switching off on its own. And once its switched off, it take ages before we are able to switch it on again. Just like an old engine parked for days in cold winter days.. Apparently Mum and Gran has been arguing over the old TV. Gran thinking that it can be fixed, while Mum felt its time to change. As the argument goes on..the day was getting warmer and hotter, that I eventually fell asleep on the floor. Mom ushered me to sleep in the room, and switch on the only air-cond we have in the house. Life is good, when Mum is around. :) "Leng ah.... wake up.. I need to watch TV.." I heard Mum's voice. "Huh??" I was in a state of sub-consciousness... "Meee (short for Mummy), you go and watch outside la..." "Cannot la.....

Recently, Kev moved in and Astro came along. After 2 years of not watching any TV in the apartment, it's a new breath in life.. or so I thought. Not even 2 weeks after we had the TV, all three of us a re complaining of boringness on TV. Not any normal TV, but cable TV!! It's either news, food channel and sports. And most of the time, when we are not working, we are seeking out other options to leave the house. I guess it's never wrong to say humans are just never satisfied with anything in their life. So the three of us. 7 more days to World Cup, already planning my leave on next Friday! How can someone who loves football missed out the largest football event on earth?? Rite... now i remember why we install Astro in the first place.. balls. World Cup 2010, here I come!

Woke up really early today. B woke me up at 5.45am. Managed to reach office at 6am. Was really worried about my shipment through out the night. But with my colleague in Labuan, everything turn out fine today. Customer was happy, I am relieved. It turn out that the email was sent to the Ops. No one dares to answer, but there was a reply. Feeling a lil bit disappointed with the reply, as it still indicates that I was at fault in some way. But well, as long as we get the job done. Left office early, met Sandz at Tropicana and had my first real meal of the day. Nice one indeed. Lots of catch up, reliving our times back in Uni. How I miss KK, my dorm room, and uni life altogether. Time really flies. As Sandz put it, 2 more years and we have stepped into 10 years of knowing each other. Somehow, I am feeling really old now. :) But I really treasure this friendship through out these years. Well, its another day. Need to sleep now, hope I can wake up early again and save my money on the blood...