There's something very special about being a middle child. We have a special term to describe people like us, who seemed to be dysfunctional psychologically in the eyes of our parents -- "The Middle Child Syndrome".
A search on Google with the key words (middle+child+syndrome), returns with an overwhelming 4,160,000 results. That's damn alot! This means, i'm not abnormal of showing signs of withdrawal from my family, rather, it confirms that i, like millions of other "middle child " are acting simultaneously in an extraordinary way.
A friend had a problem with his brother whom had just left their home for a reason that i didn't know. But through the story from my friend which by the way was the eldest among his siblings, i found some similarities with my own life as a middle child. His brother had find it a very hard to gain their father's respect and recognition. The younger brother seems to feel inferior than the eldest, as he was an outstanding person in all aspects. Things get bad as they grew older where the younger brother felt left out and never had the ability to please his parents, his father especially. Day by day as the issues stacked and emotions collided, the younger brother said something that hurted not only his parents, but to my friend, his eldest brother who loved him so much.
As a young child, i always find that i'm not wanted in the house. I was sent away to live with my maternal grandparent since 1-month old for 3 years. I find it incredibly unbelievable that my parents actually did give me away, while at the same time, my elder brother was enjoying all their attention and love! As i grew up, i always pushed myself to levelled with my eldest brother in terms of academics and musical talents. He was a brainy type who had a damn great obssession with books and facts, and not to forget, his awesome musical talents that i'll never be able to match up with him. All these qualities seems to get the attention he could possibly have. And as my parents and grandparents all loved him so much, I felt left out in the rain.
It might be that i unconsciously programmed myself to be feeling neglected when the reality was not, but i really do feel that i'm just a daughter that my parents never loved. Whatever i did was never good enough to impress my parents. Life gets worse for me when my younger brothers were born. I was robbed of everything, and now i needed to compete with 3 brothers when i couldn't even win a battle with only one. I became a pest at home during my teenage years. My couldn't understand why I'm acting hostile towards everyone in the family. In the process, I became distant with my dad. I said hurtful things that I don't know how it came out from my mouth. But i did it.. And I regretted it.
After all these years of being away from home, i still feel a slight hostile feelings to my brothers. Although I've manage to grew out of it, it became more obvious that the elder one of my younger siblings took the position I once hold. He became the nuisance that i was. I understand what he's going through, but even then, i felt angry with him sometimes.
Then, i grew up. I learnt to be more mature and understand the rationae of my parent's action. It wasn't as bad as i thought. Mom explained to me and why she gave more attention to my eldest brother. It wasn't really satisfying but well, she has explained. I couldn't ask for anything more. And now, I could proudly said that yes, I do feel the love from parents and my brothers (including my elder brother).
So, to my friend. I just left him a note,
"Please be patient with your brother. He just need some time and some space. His heart and soul will be back at home again soon. Have faith.".
A search on Google with the key words (middle+child+syndrome), returns with an overwhelming 4,160,000 results. That's damn alot! This means, i'm not abnormal of showing signs of withdrawal from my family, rather, it confirms that i, like millions of other "middle child " are acting simultaneously in an extraordinary way.
A friend had a problem with his brother whom had just left their home for a reason that i didn't know. But through the story from my friend which by the way was the eldest among his siblings, i found some similarities with my own life as a middle child. His brother had find it a very hard to gain their father's respect and recognition. The younger brother seems to feel inferior than the eldest, as he was an outstanding person in all aspects. Things get bad as they grew older where the younger brother felt left out and never had the ability to please his parents, his father especially. Day by day as the issues stacked and emotions collided, the younger brother said something that hurted not only his parents, but to my friend, his eldest brother who loved him so much.
As a young child, i always find that i'm not wanted in the house. I was sent away to live with my maternal grandparent since 1-month old for 3 years. I find it incredibly unbelievable that my parents actually did give me away, while at the same time, my elder brother was enjoying all their attention and love! As i grew up, i always pushed myself to levelled with my eldest brother in terms of academics and musical talents. He was a brainy type who had a damn great obssession with books and facts, and not to forget, his awesome musical talents that i'll never be able to match up with him. All these qualities seems to get the attention he could possibly have. And as my parents and grandparents all loved him so much, I felt left out in the rain.
It might be that i unconsciously programmed myself to be feeling neglected when the reality was not, but i really do feel that i'm just a daughter that my parents never loved. Whatever i did was never good enough to impress my parents. Life gets worse for me when my younger brothers were born. I was robbed of everything, and now i needed to compete with 3 brothers when i couldn't even win a battle with only one. I became a pest at home during my teenage years. My couldn't understand why I'm acting hostile towards everyone in the family. In the process, I became distant with my dad. I said hurtful things that I don't know how it came out from my mouth. But i did it.. And I regretted it.
After all these years of being away from home, i still feel a slight hostile feelings to my brothers. Although I've manage to grew out of it, it became more obvious that the elder one of my younger siblings took the position I once hold. He became the nuisance that i was. I understand what he's going through, but even then, i felt angry with him sometimes.
Then, i grew up. I learnt to be more mature and understand the rationae of my parent's action. It wasn't as bad as i thought. Mom explained to me and why she gave more attention to my eldest brother. It wasn't really satisfying but well, she has explained. I couldn't ask for anything more. And now, I could proudly said that yes, I do feel the love from parents and my brothers (including my elder brother).
So, to my friend. I just left him a note,
"Please be patient with your brother. He just need some time and some space. His heart and soul will be back at home again soon. Have faith.".
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