Know about the pink elephant story?
Try not to imagine a Pink Elephant.
What do u imagine now?
It's a pink elephant no doubt.
Apparently our brain is quite straightforward. The rational is, the more you try to avoid thinking about something, the more you would think about it.
There are certain things that I try to block out from my brain.
A person, smoking, and being depressive about work.
Three things that I'm trying to forget, and the same three that keep on popping up. Wonder how to forget about things? Our memory is really not a merciful one. The happiness in life that we tried to remember all the time, it can easily be forgotten.
Life love to play jokes on us, or at least, on me. Life changes so much for the past 2 weeks.
In these past 2 weeks, I suddenly realized how much my mum has grow old. Seeing the wrinkle on her face, I can't remember when did it all happen in the first place. I couldn't find a trace of image when her face are still line less. I tried really hard.
All the time I blamed her that she never love me as much as my brothers. I was wrong. She loves me indifferently, perhaps more and more. She supports my will to move, even though i know she's quite reluctant to see me go. But, she knows that this is my will, she supports all the way. And for that, i felt guilty for not even celebrate mother's day with her lately. She would have said it's OK. I remember the last time i did something was, I send a mother's day card from KK. I thought it doesn't matter much to her, but i was wrong. I was really surprised when I got to know that she kept the card with her all these years. How much I would want to tell her that I really love her, even though it's hard to be express through words.
For my dad, I haven't talk to him for such a long time. I haven't see him for few weeks now. He doesn't know my plans to move away, to study, to switch job. I assumed that he doesn't care at all. Disappointment is the only word i could use to describe. Why can't he be like other fathers out there, who actually cares? I tried to convinced myself that he's still the part of our family, but it's really tough. I hope he will understand and awaken one day. At least thats what i hope. At least, for my gran.
Again, I tried to remember the times when mum and dad bring Leonard and I to KL, to the museum, zoo, or back to Kelantan. All these are just fading memories. I can't recall the happiest time in my life. All i can remember is the arguments, the misunderstanding, and the eventual departure of dad from our lives.
Still, I hope that life will be more anticipating from now on. I can only be stronger from now on. No more looking back, no more fearing andI will find the courage to live on again.
Mum, thanks for all the support. I will never be able to stand up or live till today without you. Happy belated Mother's Day.
Try not to imagine a Pink Elephant.
What do u imagine now?
It's a pink elephant no doubt.
Apparently our brain is quite straightforward. The rational is, the more you try to avoid thinking about something, the more you would think about it.
There are certain things that I try to block out from my brain.
A person, smoking, and being depressive about work.
Three things that I'm trying to forget, and the same three that keep on popping up. Wonder how to forget about things? Our memory is really not a merciful one. The happiness in life that we tried to remember all the time, it can easily be forgotten.
Life love to play jokes on us, or at least, on me. Life changes so much for the past 2 weeks.
In these past 2 weeks, I suddenly realized how much my mum has grow old. Seeing the wrinkle on her face, I can't remember when did it all happen in the first place. I couldn't find a trace of image when her face are still line less. I tried really hard.
All the time I blamed her that she never love me as much as my brothers. I was wrong. She loves me indifferently, perhaps more and more. She supports my will to move, even though i know she's quite reluctant to see me go. But, she knows that this is my will, she supports all the way. And for that, i felt guilty for not even celebrate mother's day with her lately. She would have said it's OK. I remember the last time i did something was, I send a mother's day card from KK. I thought it doesn't matter much to her, but i was wrong. I was really surprised when I got to know that she kept the card with her all these years. How much I would want to tell her that I really love her, even though it's hard to be express through words.
For my dad, I haven't talk to him for such a long time. I haven't see him for few weeks now. He doesn't know my plans to move away, to study, to switch job. I assumed that he doesn't care at all. Disappointment is the only word i could use to describe. Why can't he be like other fathers out there, who actually cares? I tried to convinced myself that he's still the part of our family, but it's really tough. I hope he will understand and awaken one day. At least thats what i hope. At least, for my gran.
Again, I tried to remember the times when mum and dad bring Leonard and I to KL, to the museum, zoo, or back to Kelantan. All these are just fading memories. I can't recall the happiest time in my life. All i can remember is the arguments, the misunderstanding, and the eventual departure of dad from our lives.
Still, I hope that life will be more anticipating from now on. I can only be stronger from now on. No more looking back, no more fearing andI will find the courage to live on again.
Mum, thanks for all the support. I will never be able to stand up or live till today without you. Happy belated Mother's Day.
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