How does it feel when you fell for someone, and that someone told you that he had a new gf?
It sucks.
As a friend, I'm still trying to act cool, as if nothing happens. It hurts damn bad actually. But, as a friend, I should be happy for him isn't it? The only problem is I'm not a saint. I'm a human being, and for worse, a female species of Homo sapiens.
THAT is the main problem.
I'm accepting, but being hurt badly, I don't know how to keep on going and be a friend. Hang out together? Introduce her to me? My heart is really reluctant, but my pride make the stupidest decision in my life. I said 'OK'.
Trying to be nice isn't everything, I discover. While I was waiting for his reply on the phone, he was having some fun with his new gf. I would be a big fat liar to say that I'm ok with everything.
I have to be, to make sure he's not feeling awkward to me. And I have to meet her as well, as a request from him. As a proof we are still 'friends'.
We finally had some time to chat online. I told him, that i was hurt. He said he didn't know how to tell me in the first place. He felt guilty about that now. I felt bad for him. Perhaps, it is my own problem, doesn't concern him or her. I am in fact the one who has all this stupid feelings. He said he doesn't want to lose me no matter what, as a best friend of course.
I give in. No more useless hope for something that ain't going to happen.
4.00a.m.: Sandz, I smoked. One whole ciggie from the pack you left in my car. I think I'm going to finish it off somehow. Buy u another pack next time. Hugs.
It sucks.
As a friend, I'm still trying to act cool, as if nothing happens. It hurts damn bad actually. But, as a friend, I should be happy for him isn't it? The only problem is I'm not a saint. I'm a human being, and for worse, a female species of Homo sapiens.
THAT is the main problem.
I'm accepting, but being hurt badly, I don't know how to keep on going and be a friend. Hang out together? Introduce her to me? My heart is really reluctant, but my pride make the stupidest decision in my life. I said 'OK'.
Trying to be nice isn't everything, I discover. While I was waiting for his reply on the phone, he was having some fun with his new gf. I would be a big fat liar to say that I'm ok with everything.
I have to be, to make sure he's not feeling awkward to me. And I have to meet her as well, as a request from him. As a proof we are still 'friends'.
We finally had some time to chat online. I told him, that i was hurt. He said he didn't know how to tell me in the first place. He felt guilty about that now. I felt bad for him. Perhaps, it is my own problem, doesn't concern him or her. I am in fact the one who has all this stupid feelings. He said he doesn't want to lose me no matter what, as a best friend of course.
I give in. No more useless hope for something that ain't going to happen.
4.00a.m.: Sandz, I smoked. One whole ciggie from the pack you left in my car. I think I'm going to finish it off somehow. Buy u another pack next time. Hugs.
Comments
dont smoke so much la. :) hope to catch up with u soon in the weekend!!
miss ur place la.. hehehe~ sa
But after the emotions calmed down, and rational hits in, I realized it wasn't really that bad. I mean yes I fell for him, but he has his right ain't it. Just that I felt left out or ignored. Losing the familiarity and comfort talks. Anyhow, we remain close friends.
I still smoke, but not addicting to it. Few days back, i was chain smoking, but now, nah. Back to normal.
Take care ya. Hugs. Lots of surprises coming. ;)