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Shitty day to start off the week

How does it feel when you fell for someone, and that someone told you that he had a new gf?

It sucks.

As a friend, I'm still trying to act cool, as if nothing happens. It hurts damn bad actually. But, as a friend, I should be happy for him isn't it? The only problem is I'm not a saint. I'm a human being, and for worse, a female species of Homo sapiens.

THAT is the main problem.

I'm accepting, but being hurt badly, I don't know how to keep on going and be a friend. Hang out together? Introduce her to me? My heart is really reluctant, but my pride make the stupidest decision in my life. I said 'OK'.

Trying to be nice isn't everything, I discover. While I was waiting for his reply on the phone, he was having some fun with his new gf. I would be a big fat liar to say that I'm ok with everything.

I have to be, to make sure he's not feeling awkward to me. And I have to meet her as well, as a request from him. As a proof we are still 'friends'.

We finally had some time to chat online. I told him, that i was hurt. He said he didn't know how to tell me in the first place. He felt guilty about that now. I felt bad for him. Perhaps, it is my own problem, doesn't concern him or her. I am in fact the one who has all this stupid feelings. He said he doesn't want to lose me no matter what, as a best friend of course.

I give in. No more useless hope for something that ain't going to happen.

4.00a.m.: Sandz, I smoked. One whole ciggie from the pack you left in my car. I think I'm going to finish it off somehow. Buy u another pack next time. Hugs.

Comments

The Story Teller said…
Hey dear, sorry to hear that. Hope you're feeling better by now. is this the sony ericsson guy?

dont smoke so much la. :) hope to catch up with u soon in the weekend!!

miss ur place la.. hehehe~ sa
4:55 PM
deaflisteners said…
hmm.. no la. I always fell for someone I'm close with. A guy whom I'm acquainted with for the past few months. WTF.

But after the emotions calmed down, and rational hits in, I realized it wasn't really that bad. I mean yes I fell for him, but he has his right ain't it. Just that I felt left out or ignored. Losing the familiarity and comfort talks. Anyhow, we remain close friends.

I still smoke, but not addicting to it. Few days back, i was chain smoking, but now, nah. Back to normal.

Take care ya. Hugs. Lots of surprises coming. ;)
11:01 PM
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