Skip to main content

Restart

Had dinner in Sushi Tei @ Tropicana with Zura today.. Really full now, with pieces of sushi still swimming in my stomach. Sometimes, the best way to end a day is to hangout with friends, especially those good one who accepts you no matter what you did.

New month, new target, life going to change very soon. Maybe I wont have time for anything else. Soon, my mind will be on my work all the time. Nothing else to think about.

Current changes that happens in my life, is it for good or bad, I really dunno.

People said I smile a lot, said that I looked much happier these days. Looking lots more attractive and all the good things that they usually said to impress. Yes, I changed how I look like. But am I really happy? Maybe yes, maybe no.

My mind is thinking a lot of stuffs, things that make me feeling depressed and things that make me feeling good. Maybe I am having bipolar disorder. It's really dangerous, because I do not know whether I'm having psychological problem or whether this is all natural. This is really dangerous, as I won't know when is the day I lose my sanity and the world doesn't mean anything to me.

But what the heck, enjoy what I have now. Even if i need to spend money to make myself happy. Maybe go on a vacation alone, in a place full of strangers. Meeting with people that doesn't give a damn bout you or your past. Learning bout the life and culture of others.. And yes, that's the ultimate life that I want.

So, what am I waiting for? I will start to do things differently from now onwards. Living my life.

Forget all those unhappy things in life. Forget all the people that has been trouble my mind so long.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My Donkey

Remember the annoying, big mouthed yet good in nature Donkey in Shrek and Shrek 2? Can you remember any friends that resembles the Donkey? And seriously, I DO NOT MEAN PHYSICALLY!!! Recently, I've come to realized that there are lots of " Donkeys " in my life. Don't feel offended if I'm referring anyone as a donkey, coz do put in mind that at the same time, I'm an Ogre too. Yep, it's funny how some friends tend to annoyed us so much that we would like to tell them to shut their mouth sometimes! They will keep on going just to keep us annoyed even you've give out all the possible signals and hints that you're really not in the mood to join in their play. But their patience is somewhat last for eternity. They'll follow you around just to keep you in their watching distance. Although some may not resembled the loud Donkey in Shrek, but they do have other ways to annoy you. I have this particular friend who were so choosy and annoying, and somet...
4 comments
Read more

Anger Management

M   : Aunty Sharon, I am angry now.. Me : Why? What happened? M   : Daddy wanted to share my biscuits, I don't want to. Me : What should we do when we are angry? M   :....... Me : Let's breath, and count. M   : Ok Aunty Sharon.. Me : Breath, 1.... Breath... M   : 2... Breath, 3..... Breath 4....(chuckle) Me : Are you ok now? Are you still angry? M   : No, its funny! (Burst out laughing) 13 days in to Movement Control Order, I have spent a lot of time with Matia for the past 13 days. This little boy is turning 5 this year, struggled with some TV addiction, but he did so well today. From spending time playing on his own, painting, trying to read (even when he complains it is difficult), eating lunch by his own without leaving the table, taking in the vegetables which he usually manage to pick out with his tongue, and yes... anger management. We found that he was talking spitefully to both his parents on every small rejection...
Post a Comment
Read more

Whirlwind

It has been a whirlwind like for the past month. Had a depresive episode and anxiety attack last month, and still recovering from it. This is not the first time in depression, but it scares me alot compare to the last one some 12 years ago. I find myself gasping for air, reaching out for help, so that i can stay afloat in the midst of darkness and drowining. I remembered Kel alot during the past month or so.. the mental image of him lifeless, reminds me again and again, that I need to hang on in there, and put in effort to be alive. I am thankful to God in many ways, to give me the courage to walk out from this unscathed. Rather, I was given the chance to learn who I am as a person. I was exposed to my own shortcomings even when I refuse to see it, I was challenged to 'let go' to things and emotional burden that I have been carrying all this while. I spoke to more people in the past month then I ever spoke to in the year before. I knew I was desperate, and I needed to see and...
Post a Comment
Read more