Skip to main content

Lonely

11 more days to go. Starting next month, I will be living a different life. Working life it is.


Wonder why I blog so much these days. Not some world changing material, but I just find that there are lots of things that I couldn't share it out. Basically, not many people that I can speak to. Now, with me going out from the office, going out to meet customers on my own, it will be tough. I think I will feel much more lonelier than what I am now.

Mark asked me, whether I want to reconsider. I know he's joking, but I'm actually feel reluctant to go. Many reasons that contributes to it. But well, I have sign the contract. No turning back. Lonely or not, life still goes on.

Things changed so much for the past few months. Emotionally, I'm not as stable as I think I am. I just chose to hide what I think, or what I feel. In fact I don't feel anything in particular. It's just numb. Just smile. Let others around me be happy, and not feeling bad because of me. I know it's not healthy, but that's all I can do.

I seriously want to change, but then, human, being human, being the female population of the species, life ain't easy. As long as I don't get into insanity, I should be happy. I have not gone back to Klang for weeks, kinda miss mum, Paul, and yes, Gran. Will make a point to go back this week. Even just for an afternoon. Family is still the best people to be around with. Home, is still the best place to stay at.

Comments

mbata said…
Hey i think im the past few month you have also changed for the better. You look more prettier, you care for yourself more and no need to be lonely. I believe you'll do well in your new role and of course you can talk to me when it gets lonely.
1:04 PM
deaflisteners said…
Yeah, change is good. I guess I'm just enjoying my life at the moment, being busy and progressing in career. We all have much more to explore in life and being lonely i guess, is part of life.

But hey, thanks for being there for me when life is not that easy. :)
11:22 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Disabled again..

Today.. is another sad day for me. They just disabled "e-messenger", which ended my pleasure of keeping in touch with friends lately. Sigh.. exactly 14 more days, and I'll be out. Just have to be patient. Had a long talk with my boss. Many things that we've talked through and I appreciate his acceptance over my rather harsh comment. We're more like friends now, rather than him being my boss, or me being his subordinate. Frankly, it's been a long 5 1/2 half months. Unhappy i may seem, but i do learn alot while working here. Strangely, i think i might even missed this place..
3 comments
Read more

School No Fun!

"So, how many homeworks you have today?" "8." "How many done?" "4 more to go, with a spelling tomorrow and a dictation on Friday." "How are you doing today?" Face slammed to the pillow on the floor... "T...i...r....e...d...." Thats the usual conversation little Paul and I have everyday after school. 6, 7, sometimes 10 homeworks per day. Thats what little Paul is having everyday. Today, he cried over the tiredness of having to do so many work. Although he's more on the sensitive side, but still, is this how our education system deal with our kids? And, today, he brought a time table for examination through out the year, which the 1st exam will start on 13th February, 5 days before Chinese New Year. (WTF!!) That means he has to start studying the not-so-familiar words. 22 days into the new year, and he has to worried bout doing good in his exam. What's wrong with the teachers, school and the Ministry of Education itself?...
2 comments
Read more

Stupidity

Life has been a mess for the past whole week. Juggling between work and family is not my strength. I certainly missed mum being around. He just lost his respect from all his children. He knew it before and he definitely knows it now. But he's just too arrogant to come back and admit that it's his fault that things turn out so badly. I confronted him for his actions last night. I have never raised my voice against him, but yesterday, it's just really unbearable. If I knew what happened later after I left, I would have screamed my lungs out and bring my brothers along with me. Last night, what you did is plainly stupid. Stupid, for leaving your family behind. Stupid, for seeking for comfort from others while your wife is here waiting at home. Stupid, for not caring over your children. Stupid, for ignoring your responsibility as a son, a husband and a father. You have definitely lost what you had all this while. All because of your ego, arrogance and stupidity.
2 comments
Read more