Lights on Me

I was alone at home today. After a gruelling travel down south and back. Went back to PJ to finish my report. How I wish I could stay back in Klang tonight. Then I saw the stack of movies that I brought back from Seremban. Something caught my eye.. and this was the movie. It was a story bout a violin prodigy Liu Xiao Chun and his father, Liu Cheng, who hails from a poor village to Beijing with one purpose, to get a good teacher for the son. The protagonist however, was unappreciative of his father's effort. The movie expressed the love of a father for his son, even though they are not biologically related; and how the son discover his true feelings of love and gratitude to his father, whom has sacrifice everything for the sake of getting him to stardom. The movie ended with Xiao Chun, running away from a prestigious competition to seek for his father who plans to return to their old village. It was a no brainer that I was crying through out the second disc of the movie. I suddenly ...

Celebrated birthday with family, for once in my life after a very long time. It was simple, warm and very thoughtful of everyone. 3 things that made me very happy yesterday: Firstly all my aunts and my grand aunt, couldn't remember how old was I. One said, 25, the other said I looked younger. Maybe they are just trying to be nice. :) Secondly, Sam Yee (3rd aunt) baked me a cake. Homemade chocolate moist cake, with Christmas decorations on top. Thirdly, celebrating birthday with my gran (mum's mom). And after all these years, she still refuse to disclose when was her actual birthday. Woman. :P 1 more year to hit number 30. How do I feel, I don't feel old. In fact, I felt younger than before. Maybe it's the maturity that comes with the age, felt that I have much more to see, to experience, to learn and to live for. On FB, I was overwhelmed by the number of wishes from my friends, far and near. Didn't expect to get so many calls from overseas, text messages from collea...

December kicks in, and... "tis the season to be jolly, fa la la la la....la la la la." 1) Christmas time is here.. already got my 1st Christmas gift a.k.a. Birthday gift for this year, from my house mates.. 2) Birthday coming.. another year older.. 3) New year coming.. 4)Got a considerably big Christmas gift from company... (Euro 100!! Yippee!) 5) Clearing annual leaves.. 5 more days to go for this year. 6) Anticipating for CHC's year end show.. heard its good, but can only go for tomorrow's show.. 7)Staying alone for the next 2 weeks..kinda bored at the moment. Can't wait to have my house mates back! 8) Rains a lot, hope for snow.. 9) Time to recharge. 10) Family time down in Johor next week. 5 hours of drive....:( Maybe I can popped down to Singapore.. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year everyone..

If I were to choose: 1) I want to go back to my childhood and never grow up. 2) I want to undo some decisions I made. 3) I want to spend more time enjoying life. 4) I want to speak my mind. 5) I want to run away from this life.

Today, was a crazy day. Went all the way to Kajang, to see a customer. Traffic, rain, mud, sweat and got scolded by customer for some twisted service issue. This has been one of my major pipelines to win, and after all persuasion for 1 1/2 hours, sit in with 4 different decision maker, and volunteered to take their shipments back to service centre, they finally said, " We would actually love to work with you, if you can prolong our pickup time." And hey, that's what I was working on for the past whole month! And without telling them, I have already gotten the green light to start the project! Sweet win, well, not yet, but it feels really good to win some business! I guess that's the kick of doing sales, aside from all the crazy demands and endless sales review......its nerve wrecking, day by day. But when you nail a business, you feel like you're on top of the world! Back home now, just after shower, and a con-call, and replying some emails. All done, but yet to h...

I'm kinda under the weather these days, moody and unstable. I don't know what I can do. Feeling relatively alone. Even though there are friends around, but I'm heading no where. Perhaps just really anti-social. More friends are getting married, not that I wasn't invited, just perhaps it's due to my personal dislike of weddings. I skipped most of it. If one day, I ever get married, I don't think I will invite any one. Maybe few of my close friends, which is only a handful. No relatives aside from my parents and siblings. Thats all. NO hassle. One question that I asked few people these days. If one day, I went missing, not replying emails or phone or anything for days or even months, where do they think I will be? They are afraid that I might do something stupid like committing suicide. Seriously, I won't. At least not at this point. Tomorrow, is yet another day. Another day to work, and I feel really tired. Not sleepy, but tired. Maybe I should really just go...

Today, it's really not a good day. I am mentally exhausted, and I really don't feel like talking to anyone. I feel really disappointed with many people. Too many to be named, too many promises that has been broken. I was blamed for things that I didn't do. Again. I was blamed that the way I handle things, the my ways were wrong. That I make a mess out of things. And I could say, I really felt bad and I feel like crying. Again, should I give up on this one thing that has been boggling my mind for months? Maybe I should, just once and for all. Let me settle it and move on. The more I am trying to keep it out, the more it will haunt me. Speechless altogether. Work, family and every other single thing in life, went haywire. And after all this is over, I will be alone, again. Such irony in life.

Sorry bloggie. I have not write for some time. I have lots to do and think these days. Although I do not know who will be reading you from time to time, I will not abandon you. At least not now. After 2 days of JSV, feeling a lil bit relief. Review wasn't bad at all, but still, there's lots to work on. And its MSR next week!! Ahhhh!!!! No!!!!! More work to do over the weekend... Waken up again this morning by customer. I dun mind being waken up every morning if she can commit 100k per month to us. Well, I would mine, but hey, its the edge that we have holding off our competitors. So, not a problem, at least for now. Mixed feelings this morning. I think everything has to come to an end. Even life. The question that pops up in mind is, when? Or should I stop it intentionally? If you are happy doing or having something, would you let it go eventually for the benefit of others? Or should I be selfish? I am confused at times and I wonder why do I think so much? Is it because I like ...

16th day in my new role.. getting tired? A little, I think. What have I learnt or more like learned about this role so far? 1) Wins don't come by easily. If it comes, it's windfall, if it's gone, you are losing your commission, even when you only lose 1 customer. 2) Going to see customer without doing homework is plain stupid. 3) Persistence... is harder than you ever thought. 4) Managing perception, its a skill and an important lesson as well. 5) Stamina!!! 6) Doing well as a Telesales, does not translate into success as an account manager. 7) Time management. Pre-call planning helps. 8) Creativity is an advantage. 9) Patience. 10)Work smart. Ah... stress level at a high point.

dis·ci·pline     [ dis - uh -plin ] noun, verb, -plined, -plin·ing. –noun 1. training to act in accordance with rules; drill: military discipline. There's lots of meanings for this word. Yes, it sounds harsh and punishing, but it keep us in place of what we should and should not do. Basically, discipline is like a social police, keeping the society in sanity. Spoke to Mark today, my ex-boss. I really missed listening to his nagging. That's how our conversation went today.. "Tell Brandon that he should make at least 6 customer visits a day, and you, at least 5. Giving that your area is huge." "But Mark, my place is really far.. Going to Kajang to and fro has taken me 2 hours, meeting only 1 customer.." I said. "No BUTs. You should leave office by 9:15 every day, 10 o'clock ,1st appointment.. then 11, 12, break for lunch, 2 o'clock then 3 another one. You can even squeeze another one at 4 if you want to.. See? Who says can't make 6 ...

Today is Sandz' birhtday. Happy Birthday Sandz! Hope you had great celebration this year! :) Today is also the 3rd day of my life as an account manager. How does it feel? All I can say its pure craziness. One can only ogle at the pace we are working, especially for those who are not in the same industry. 24/7, goods are being moved, from one place to another, reaching to the end of the world and unknown places. Sometimes I feel that we are performing magic every day. Doing things beyond imagination, planes, trains, truck, even bicycle...all were used to cater to our customer's needs. That's basically the life of this industry. Manage to secure a big shipment, worth 150k to be exact. Thanks to my operation colleagues, and my managers, strings are pulled and wonders created. Even got a note from my ex-boss, congratulating me for securing the business. But I guess, the credit goes to the team. The whole team. From courier to operational staffs to the supervisors, each and ever...

11 more days to go. Starting next month, I will be living a different life. Working life it is. Wonder why I blog so much these days. Not some world changing material, but I just find that there are lots of things that I couldn't share it out. Basically, not many people that I can speak to. Now, with me going out from the office, going out to meet customers on my own, it will be tough. I think I will feel much more lonelier than what I am now. Mark asked me, whether I want to reconsider. I know he's joking, but I'm actually feel reluctant to go. Many reasons that contributes to it. But well, I have sign the contract. No turning back. Lonely or not, life still goes on. Things changed so much for the past few months. Emotionally, I'm not as stable as I think I am. I just chose to hide what I think, or what I feel. In fact I don't feel anything in particular. It's just numb. Just smile. Let others around me be happy, and not feeling bad because of me. I know it...

Few minutes ago, I cancelled the games that I used to play like mad on FB. No more Mafia Wars or Cafe World. They are out of my life once and for all. It has been tough to put up on it and seriously I don't have much time for all that from now on. No more late night updates on the games. I have much more to do and achieve in my hands now. Still few more things to go: 1) Myspace 2) Tagged 3) Netlog - cancelled 1 account, 1 more to go. 4) Zorpia 5) Friendster Item (1) - (5): I don't even remember the passwords.. How la. Looking back on all this social network, it's really hilarious. I never recall how many social network site that I have registered through out the years. How silly was I to meet people virtually. It does impacted me as I am never a social person and I'm much comfortable going online. I guess, having FB as the sole so-called "Social point" is enough. I don't need 5 other sites that offers similar thing. Alright, back to work!

Age has definitely catch up with me. Been clubbing whole night through and had only short naps today due to the urge to watch F1 qualifying and actual race. And now, after wearing heels whole night, and losing sleeping time, I feel like my whole body is falling apart. Been doing lots of thinking yesterday, was wondering when will I let my brain stop thinking. I asked myself lots of questions, about myself and decisions I made recently. Who am I actually? How does others perceive me? How does my friends think of me? Reason was actually pretty simple. I made lots of decision that I feel like I am being taken granted of. They know me too well. No matter what they do, I will still be their friends. JP told me, I must have needs, must have the guts to tell them I need a favor, I need attention, to put it in simple words, I must have guts to demand. Why do I let people walk all over me, without saying a word? Is it because I don't like confrontation? Or is it I'm afraid that if I con...

Everyone has dreams and targets in life, some are even obssessed with target setting. Perhaps it's due to my nature of work, I hate targets and I hate setting targets. It actually constrain one self into doing repetitive work and routine day in day out, just to achieve that 'particular' target. Where is self-enhancement and personality growth in this? THIS is the problem working in an MNC. Put aside targets in work, I remembered one of my friends, back in Uni, she set herself a target to have a family before she turns 30. 8 years down the road, she's a divorcee. When I asked what changes, she said, she was too impatient to get married back then. She has a son, but the custody was given to her ex-husband and she can only see him once in a month. Sad? Regrets? Maybe she has her own mind on it. But I can feel that she is relieved, being given a 2nd chance in life outside the stressful marriage. People do silly things just to achieve something that they are craving. In re...

Got my ears pierced again. For the 2nd time, as the 1st one was a failure. This time, I will make sure it stays because there's no way that I will be doing this again and again... unless I'm addicted to the pain. Anyway, had my day at the immigration office. I finally got my passport, but the pictures sucks. Kev said I looked like outdated China girl who just came to the city for the very first time. Well mainly its due to the photographer who keep asking me to put my hair behind the ears. He said I have to do that because I have to show my ears in the picture or they will reject it. So my trendy bob hairstyle flew out the window and I ended up with a 'ah lian' picture for the next 5 years. Even the immigration office were skeptical with the picture as I looked really different in the pictures. If not for the same top that I wore, he could have asked me to retake my pictures.. sigh. Well, what is there to complain? As long as I get my passport and I will start my journ...

Had dinner in Sushi Tei @ Tropicana with Zura today.. Really full now, with pieces of sushi still swimming in my stomach. Sometimes, the best way to end a day is to hangout with friends, especially those good one who accepts you no matter what you did. New month, new target, life going to change very soon. Maybe I wont have time for anything else. Soon, my mind will be on my work all the time. Nothing else to think about. Current changes that happens in my life, is it for good or bad, I really dunno. People said I smile a lot, said that I looked much happier these days. Looking lots more attractive and all the good things that they usually said to impress. Yes, I changed how I look like. But am I really happy? Maybe yes, maybe no. My mind is thinking a lot of stuffs, things that make me feeling depressed and things that make me feeling good. Maybe I am having bipolar disorder. It's really dangerous, because I do not know whether I'm having psychological problem or whether this ...

For once in my life, I hated working. I really feel like lazying around at home.. doing nothing. Can I or can I not? Got my salary, have a long list of things to buy. My manager said I have to get myself something, to treat myself. That is one big lesson to learn as I am always concern about how I should manage my money, to my family and that significant someone. So, on pay day, I rush back home as early as possible and voila! I got myself a new hair cut. Cost me 45 bucks, and I look like a school girl, my mum says. My manager said my mum was just being jealous as I definitely look more youthful with my new bob. :) Clock is ticking and 1 more year, I will hit 30. I told myself to enjoy life, treat myself better. No more sulking over things that I can do but do not have the courage to do. No more complaining bout not getting chances. I have and I can fight for it for sure. I want to look good, and feel nice about myself. I want to do something that I really wish to do so for so long, tr...

Will you be loyal to one particular brand? Only one brand. No matter what other brands can offer, or giving you free gifts, and special discounts.... you still stick to one single brand???? I learn a cruel lesson about customer loyalty today. No matter what you give, be it your best service, your best smile, your extra effort to send moon cakes over... from KL to JB.. and your customer can even tell you that she ate 70% of the whole box of the moon cakes... it doesn't mean that they are loyal to you. "Ms xxx ah.... you received my moon cakes?" " Yeah. I got it. Thanks ah.." " Good, so how was it? Do you like it? You share with your colleagues?" " Em.... ya la.. I share but I ate most of it la..." "Oh ok, thats good. Thanks for all your support. Maybe next year I can get 2 boxes of moon cake for you.. Then you can eat more lor.." "Sure sure.. Good ah you all. Can give moon cakes to customer. So rich." " No la.. you su...

Some things are not meant to be said and some words, are created to make changes. Either its for good or bad, it changes the status quo. And humans, generally don't like changes. I have said something that is not meant to be heard or said. I regretted it. Cause it changed my current life. I was happy before, shortly before today. But now, I am feeling empty. Perhaps I do not know where to head to from here. Life is confusing, and everything that we see and touch, even feel are illusion. It's doesn't stay. One day when I leave this world, everything will be gone. Even the memories, be it sweet or bitter, it will be all gone. Words are more powerful than knives. The scars that it made on one person, it can never be erase or healed. It stays there forever, and yet, the only way to remove it will be the day we die. A friend told me, love is illusion, so is life. I don't agree and I argued. I wonder where is the truth in what he said. But slowly, I am beginning to feel that ...

Tattooing is not a new thing. Looking at few of my colleagues in the office, one could have mistaken them as one of the gangsters 'head' in the movies. Tiger, Dragon, Snake, some funny Chinese characters... For me, I want a simple one. Initial perhaps, or just a letter 'S' will do. But of course I want to be a lil bit artsy, just to show off.. hehehe. Asked mum before, and she said its fine as long as my gran doesn't know about it. Wonder where to get a good tattoo parlor here? Or perhaps I should think bout which part of my body to get mutilated.. It's going to be permanent, so I really should think over. Think real hard Sharon.. Can't wait for my salary this coming Saturday.... lots of things in mind. Updates: 11.10pm 21/09/10 Kev said tattooing is lame.. ya meh?

I'm head over toes on this.. Thanks to Leo who has since quit alchol, I got this 3/4 bottle of this fantastic drink! Consisting of 2 component, 1 is white vanilla creme liqueur and the other one is the dark coffee-chocolate liqueur. The packaging was chic and well thought. It seems that they have done all the research on how to ensure that whenever the consumer pour the liquer out from the bottol, the final drink will always have 2 layers of liquers with white on top and the dark coffee-chocolate on the bottom. Best served on rocks, I would definitely get another one if I have a chance. Somehow, I feel that its even better than Bailey's!

1) Booze. 2) Painting my nails black. 3) Finishing work on time. 4) Reading a good book with a cup of latte. 5) Beaches and sunset. 6) Travelling to unfamiliar places. 7) Watching late night movies. 8) Shoes. 9) Listening to music. 10) Chilling with friends. And it doesn't come with the order above. :)

B left for UK this morning. And I was crying almost whole day. 2 years of relationship, ending this way. We will be friends of course. But the bad habits that I have created through out the 2 years being together, it's not easy to change. B, hope you create your new life there. I will certainly miss you. I tried to recall everything that we have been through together, grow together and being around each other, encouraging each other. Not to forget all the fights and tears that we have poured out. It's not easy to let go, but we have to. I wish you the best in UK. I promise you I will take good care of myself. I will work hard for my promotion, stay healthy, and perhaps go back to gym again after all this while. We will be friends for the rest of our lives. Maybe someday in the future, I will be able to visit you and your family there, or perhaps we will meet up somewhere in another country. Chase your dreams, live your life. Take care, B. Lots of love from Aduke.

Its MSR (Monthly Sales Review) today. As my manager shows my performance slide today, my "dot" on the graph literally flew out from the graph. I do feel proud of myself. I am doing so well, that it makes everyone in the team looked so bad. I think I deserve a pat on a back, a long vacation, a promotion, and a big fat commission. I deserve all this. Who could think that after disastrous start in my sales line, I will be able to achieve what I am achieving today? Although I find it hard to stay on, put on a mask and work here every day... I deserve the recognition. Who knows, maybe this year I will be the OSP, wining a trip to Phuket fully paid by company? Who knows that I can be so vain... hahahaha... What a month.

Lately, I am becoming an angry person. I barely feel happy or satisfied with my life. Things that I observed around me, just proves that there's no equality in life. Never. Be it at work, family or friends. Being hardworking doesn't get you anywhere, if you do not know how to make connections. I made a big decision lately to stay at where I am. My family doesn't know why or what make me changed my mind. I have to be here, I assumed. At least, they will feel happier to have me running the errands which my brother won't be able to do so. Suddenly, I blame everything on my dad. Its because of him that I am in this confused state. It's because of him that I can't let go of responsibilities. It's because of him that our family are torn apart. I figure, its not right to think that way, but who else can I blame? I took 2 days off and have a long weekend ahead, just for myself. I wish to be alone. I wish to go off somewhere without telling anyone, but I know the con...

What a Sunday. Woke up at 1.30pm. Had my breakfast at 2.00pm. Dun feel like going back today, hope Gran doesn't mind. Another day before yet another Monday. A boring one I believe. Plan to re-read HP's final book. Can't wait for the movie this coming Christmas ;)

Happy Birthday Chanise! Lots of love from your aunt here, and hope you had a great birthday! Missing you much! Mmuacks! :)

Last Sunday after church, I went back Klang as usual. Having my weekly dose of family time with mum, gran and Paul. I sensed some tension at home. Not knowing why, I commented on the old TV in the living room. It was a bad call. The TV keep switching off on its own. And once its switched off, it take ages before we are able to switch it on again. Just like an old engine parked for days in cold winter days.. Apparently Mum and Gran has been arguing over the old TV. Gran thinking that it can be fixed, while Mum felt its time to change. As the argument goes on..the day was getting warmer and hotter, that I eventually fell asleep on the floor. Mom ushered me to sleep in the room, and switch on the only air-cond we have in the house. Life is good, when Mum is around. :) "Leng ah.... wake up.. I need to watch TV.." I heard Mum's voice. "Huh??" I was in a state of sub-consciousness... "Meee (short for Mummy), you go and watch outside la..." "Cannot la.....

Recently, Kev moved in and Astro came along. After 2 years of not watching any TV in the apartment, it's a new breath in life.. or so I thought. Not even 2 weeks after we had the TV, all three of us a re complaining of boringness on TV. Not any normal TV, but cable TV!! It's either news, food channel and sports. And most of the time, when we are not working, we are seeking out other options to leave the house. I guess it's never wrong to say humans are just never satisfied with anything in their life. So the three of us. 7 more days to World Cup, already planning my leave on next Friday! How can someone who loves football missed out the largest football event on earth?? Rite... now i remember why we install Astro in the first place.. balls. World Cup 2010, here I come!

Woke up really early today. B woke me up at 5.45am. Managed to reach office at 6am. Was really worried about my shipment through out the night. But with my colleague in Labuan, everything turn out fine today. Customer was happy, I am relieved. It turn out that the email was sent to the Ops. No one dares to answer, but there was a reply. Feeling a lil bit disappointed with the reply, as it still indicates that I was at fault in some way. But well, as long as we get the job done. Left office early, met Sandz at Tropicana and had my first real meal of the day. Nice one indeed. Lots of catch up, reliving our times back in Uni. How I miss KK, my dorm room, and uni life altogether. Time really flies. As Sandz put it, 2 more years and we have stepped into 10 years of knowing each other. Somehow, I am feeling really old now. :) But I really treasure this friendship through out these years. Well, its another day. Need to sleep now, hope I can wake up early again and save my money on the blood...

Had a distressful day. So disappointed with many many people. Even to myself. Wish I have more time to settle all this problem. As a result, I wrote a long complain email to both my bosses. Its not that I wanted to lash out on someone or some people. Rather, it was just to release my stress and anger. Hope they didn't get a shock when they see the email tomorrow morning. Nevertheless, thanks to few colleagues who actually help, even though they were on MC. Life seems so much easier with them around. Moreover, big shipment tomorrow. Really excited :)

Been watching loads of Chinese movies during the weekend. The list goes: 1) Ip Man 1 2) Ip Man 2 3) Mulan - not the cartoon, but the movie version. starring Vicky Zhao. 4) Red Cliff 1 - still watching.. interesting stuff, fantastic battle scene. :) So far so good. Enjoying every bits of it.

A small conversation with boss before we left office today. "Seniority doesn't mean anything here, performance does." He said. "If you are not ready to take the leap, who in your team that qualifies for it?" He asked. "If the vacancy comes in the next 2 or 3 months, do you want to grab it?" He suggested. "I'll think about it." I said.

Life is very fragile. Our life were created in a way that, without certain elements like air and water and food, we will all die. Today, my granduncle passed away at the age of 71 years. Yes, it's not that we were very close but still, I really feel the loss. I hugged my devastated grandaunt, for the second time in my life. Although there was a lot of misunderstanding between all of us, but when death stares at us, we put down the differences. I embrace her pain, feeling her loss and despair. Moreover, they have been married for more than 40 years by now, or perhaps may have even reached the golden number 50. I saw him for the very last time. I know I will not be able to make it for the funeral. How I missed him already. For my gran, I think she is still in shock. Regretting for not giving in lots of ways. My other grand uncle whom has not spoken a word since my great grandmother left us 20 years ago, has finally spoke to my gran again today. I sensed a feeling of relief and happin...

Had a short simple trip to Melaka last week. Wonderful place, good food. :)

7.30pm. That's my promises to my bosses. I will leave office daily the latest by 7.30pm. And so far, how did I score? 2 days straight, back home early, which does not translate to sleeping and resting early. Sometimes, I wonder how has my life turn out to be. Who would even wonder I will become a saleswoman? Not even myself or my mum. Still, I hope I can continue studying again. Hope it will be soon.

Later today, we will be touring the SZB gateway. 1 more day, another typical report day.. sigh. getting tired to update. 2 more days, another wedding to attend. 3 more days, our very own bowling tournament... 4 more days, another Monday, another new week...nearer to the end of April. Time is running out to hit target. Day in day out, but when on earth will I take my day off...? I wonder.

3 days of customer visits in Johor. Lots of story to tell, but well, let me rest today. Time to sleep. Still gotta work in the morning. Workaholic again. :)

It's 2:46 am now.. yet I'm still awake. Editing a thesis for a Masters student. . sigh.. getting bored and tired. 1 & 1/2 chapter to go. Last night, I went to office. It was a Sunday night, where you are suppose to enjoy the final moments of the weekend, and where was I? In the office, replying emails. Time is just running out and not enough for me to settle all the issues. It's been a year and 4 months, and yet, I can't let go of my work. I can't depend on my team-mates. What am I? A superwoman? Or just a work-craze freak? Sigh, I really dunno. I'm worried for the next 3 days. I will be away for customers visit, with no access to my emails. Perhaps I should get a Blackberry and connect my emails to my phone. I know if I do that, I will hate myself for life. Sharon, get a life. Life is really much more than this.

Few minutes ago... I thought about my job. This coming July and it will be my 2nd year. How long more do I want to stay here, I wonder? 1, 2, 3 years... or till I retired? Someone told me once, leave your job when you are on the top of your game. Now, I feel that way. 2 days back, my manager asked me, whether he's lucky to have a hard working staff like me, or is he a slave-driver. I work from 8am - 10 pm almost daily. That's 14 hours a day, 70 hours per week. Do I love this job? I am enjoying it as long as I'm earning money. That's pretty true for anyone, I presume. But is money everything in life? I know, it is not everything, but it's pretty much the main thing in my current life. 24 working days this month, and I close the month high above target. My target for this year is to close monthly at least 10% above target. I did more than that for the past 3 months. Maybe, I was just lucky. Maybe, I'm harvesting on the hard work that I have put in since last year....

Source from Wikipedia, spirituality means " an ultimate reality or transcendent dimension of the world; [ 1 ] an inner path enabling a person to discover the essence of his or her being, or the “deepest values and meanings by which people live.” [ 2 ] ." In my life, there was never a point where my parents or family teach me on religion. We are not a spiritual or religious family I believe. Being religious simply means having prayers on certain dates for certain occasion. But why? Why did we pray? Who are we praying to? What was the purpose of praying? No one seems to be able to answer all that. In fact, there are various points in my life that I thought of all religions and beliefs are just superstitious. Rules and morality codes that was created to mass control the people in various points of human history. However, recently, there's an urge for me to start understanding the purpose of this life on Earth. My own life. I have the urge as well to finally find peace in ...

I did not go home in Klang this weekend. Mum's seems to be a lil upset over it. Well, I'm an adult now, and I think I have the right not to go back once in awhile. Busy with editing work this week, another job coming in tomorrow. The pay is not much but well, it kills my time as well. Manage to catch few movies this week. Inspirational, heart wrenching movies. Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire (2009) Story about an obese and illiterate girl by the name of Claireece 'Precious' Jones with a life defeating history. Being raped by her estranged father, and bore 2 child by him by the age of 16; and abused by her unemployed mother who torture her mentally and physically. One can only imagine how much she has to endure to be able to live on especially the scenes when her mother downgraded her to being useless and incapable. Invictus (2009) 1995: A history in making. Nelson Mandela was elected the president of South Africa, ending the era of Apartheid. How to unite...

After 29 yrs of living, I finally pierced my ears. Not that it's an extraordinary thing, but well, I have been waiting for a long time before having the courage to that. So, kudos to myself!~ Hate it though when my left earlobe starts swelling. Hope this 'minyak gamat' works to sooth the pain.

Streamyx sucks. Best to describe why I have not blog for 2 months. 2nd week in 2010. How's life been? No resolutions though... Work : Well, pretty good. At least the superficial estimated figures are looking sky high. Another big opportunity, if I'm able to close it this time, I'm going to spend my bosses for sure! Surely looking good for the rest of the year. Love : Up and down like a roller coaster. I tried my best to spend time with you b. I really do. I hope you know what you are doing. I hope we don't argue again as I really hate arguments. No matter how we made up every time after lashing words at each other, arguments are surrounding us all the time. I really hope we can go through another year and hope that this year is a blessed one for us. Family : Hm. what to say. Love you mum. You're always the best. I really missed going back home every week. I know now, no matter what happened outside in this world, home is still the best place on earth. Friends : I...